Sacred Valley/Machu Picchu tour, Friday

0327 Started to feel better after surfing a bit but feeling a bit trapped and edgy again now. This bites. But I know it's just temporary. Pretty sure I've had it other times, but it is possible the thinner air combined with anxiety pushes me a bit more into very slight 'aaargh, can't breathe' feeling which makes it worse. I certainly passed a baddish night in IIRC Puno in 2010, despite having passed weeks at high altitude, But it is probably largely just psychological, worries about tour etc, and I will doubtless feel better tomorrow. But right now I don't like the bed, there is a bit of metal inside the pillow which chinks annoyingly, the pillow seems to smel a little too and I am not super overjoyed at the thought of two more nights here after tour, but it's all OK really. And wrt altitude as I said in previous entry if anything that's not something to get worked up about as I'm going down tomorrow.

0813 Stood outside locked up tour office. Wearing delightfully damp clothes as in that frigid room 24h evidently not sufficient to dry them. Daypack weighs heavy on shoulder but mostly due to 2 litres of water. Bit hungry but what can you do?

0828 Dashed across to shop and bought couple of packets of crisps. Back at office was open, got inconveniently large envelope with two laser-printed train tickets and ditto MP entrance ticket. Guzzled crisps.

0930 Wow, we're at Willka Pukara Andean Handicraft Workshop for twenty minutes. Be still my beating heart. Maybe I'll buy an empanada, but would it spoil my lunch?

0935 Yeah, I bought one, resisted the novelty of alpaca, went for ham and cheese. Not bad.

1157 Slightly harried but not too bad hourish tour of archaeological site at Pisac. Impressive views, also got chance to see a terraced mountainside fairly close up (if not, alas, to walk on one) and as guide pointed out they look like steps from a distance but they're actually 4-5m high.

1223 Completely tedious and pointless stop at some local silver market. Not a fucking clue when we leave here, despite guy having said it in English as well. Might be 1245, not sure. Just standing by the bus, I have zero interest in silver jewellery and there's nothing particularly to see. Personally I'd rather have had this time at archaeological site as there were a few side paths etc didn't go down and it was all just a bit rushed, but what can you do. Not even clear when lunch is.

1348 Lunch. What a fucking joke. We have 40 mins, prob cos of fuckwits doddering back to bus earlier. The buffet line STRETCHES OUT OF THE FUCKING RESTAURANT. I'm standing here in the spitting rain. Fan fucking tastic.

Why the fuck did we have to waste 30 minutes at the shitty silver market?

1434 Got food eventually, staff serve you some dishes to stop you taking too much, and by time I realised I needed rice I was past that point and had to risk wrath of queue by doubling back. No free tables, I could have shared but wasn't in mood (not helped by one fucking couple sitting at opposite ends of a six seater table like a cartoon king and queen) so I stood up and guzzled it down with a teaspoon. The queue eased off so I managed to go round three times. The food was OK but not a great selection. I take comfort in fact lack of a table meant they didn't get a chance to sell me a cold drink and earn any more off me. Had a cup of mate de coca though hot water ran out so I actually had 0.25 of a cup then about 0.5 of another cup I didn't have time to finish as we seemed to be leaving. Took photo of place name but not mentioning it here.

Bit worried about missing train but I guess that is not my problem. The group is evidently a mishmash of people on different tours and I am a bit concerned we are going to be left to fend for ourselves once we are on the train. Since I didn't know the name of my hostel until this morning I didn't look it up on the net and hence have no idea where it is. It will be OK, push comes to shove can get taxi, but would hope this is just me worrying and won't be left to own devices.

Fell asleep on drive from silver market to here. Not a problem, just mentioning it. Don't think that's why I was in a bad mood at queue etc, I felt OK (if looking forward to lunch cos hungry) as we arrived at restaurant.

1650 Pan pipe version of 'My Way' just played on train... They took my ticket off me when I got on but I took a photo of it first, the train magazine thing suggests this is an Inca Rail train, I believe a few companies operate services.

1703 Skorpion's "Winds of Change" now on pan pipes. This is obviously what the train magazine refers to as "the life-affirming instrumental music of the Andes". I probably shouldn't sneer; apart from lack of leg room at the table-not-airline seating the train is quite nice, this is business class IIRC, fk knows what it cost me. We get a free snack and a drink apparently.

1746 Stopped to wait for another train to pass. Will write up earlier later but I asked guide and basically someone will meet us (me and a Chilean couple called Felipe and Francia, we shared a tuktuk to the train station) at the station in Aguas Calientes, so we're not left too much to our own devices.

1815 Met woman from hotel, waiting for F&F. Didn't sit with them as a Chilean woman making up the four at our table asked me to swap with her boyfriend who was in seat B31. Not a problem, just mention it as matter of trivia. Likewise I am known frequently here as 'Steven Graham' since presumably some cross-cultural confusion causes them to not perceive my surname as 'important' when they see my passport or small copy thereof.

1830 In room. We are meeting guide in reception at 7, presumably just to discuss tomorrow morning. The room is sort of OK but there's a fucking spider on the doorframe of the bathroom door, not a huge one but still. As we were walking from station to hotel we passed through a market and out of corner of my eye I saw a huge tropical nightmare kind of spider in a frame. I don't think I thought even for a second it was alive but I don't like the though that it might in any event be a representative of the local fauna.

I am wondering if I should just smash that one on the doorframe with my shoe, but it's borderline tolerable size, I am too fucking nice to relish the idea of killing it and also right now it's just sat there, if I try to smash it and miss I could be in a worse state. I've had a peer round under the beds and although there is a dangling thing under one of the beds it is not enormous. The room is decidedly on the grubby and under-decorated side but it does have a private bathroom and is moderately large.

No, that fucking spider has moved and seems to have gone into the 5mm gap between the doorframe and wall where I had already noticed several cohorts or their corpses reside. Still, perhaps all the more reason not to go whacking the doorframe with a shoe lest I trigger a mass exodus of the fuckers. Decidedly suboptimal but it will be OK, I will sleep in the bed furthest from there as well. Oh for a methrin-based insecticide.

1855 Cunts. Guide turned up early, went down to see her. My bus ticket to MP tomorrow isn't included; I could swear they saId it was. That's 10 fucking dollars. But the real icing on the cake is I have to make my own way to the bus station and get the bus and meet the guide at the entrance to MP. Yay. Still, you pay over two hundred dollars you don't expect decent service. I have to be at the bus terminal at 645 instead of 7 thanks to having to buy a ticket, I have to meet the guide at 745. Not her fault and I tried not to let my irritation show with her but I'm seriously fucked off with those cunts at the tour office. Also given the need to locate the fucking bus terminal myself (Mana's Eres Mi Religion playing) in reality I probably need to leave the hotel about 6am. My train back is not til 630pm, MP closes 6, the walk down (which they never said was included on bus) takes 1.5h (2h to walk up), apparently the guided tour takes 2h. So fascinating or not as the site may be, I expect I'm going to have my fill of it before I get home tomorrow. Oh, and you're only allowed to take 1 or 2kg of 'baggage' into the park so I will have to leave my bag in a locker at the entrance - that only costs 5 soles however. I assume I have to get myself back to the train station and I have no fucking idea what will happen when I arrive in Owhatsit on the train, I guess I just hope there is a bus waiting.

I am wondering if it's worth complaining when I am back in Cusco. On the one hand, I didn't think the meal tonight was included, and the prices here are a bit steep. On the other hand, why not have a polite but firm go, if I get my ten dollars refunded it's all good (obviously I can't get anything back for the shittiness of having to make my own way to MP) and if I can't at least I will have tried.

I hope F&F don't turn up while I'm eating, don't want to join them or for them to feel compelled to be friendly with me.

Guide said I should take a poncho, she showed me where to buy a disposable one - when the owner turned up five minutes later - across from this resaurant. (Place is Sumaq Mijuna Wasi.)

1921 Back at hotel. Left 3 tip on table since guessed would have cost about that for food. Not happy at all. Also, since you're only allowed 5kg baggage on train I couldn't have brought my main bag, even had I not been concerned I'd end up lugging it around. So I'm here with just my daypack. Now it turns out even that is 'too big' for MP. So what, I'm going to spend the day with a carrier bag containing a bottle of water, if I'm even allowed to take such lethal items in. How many fucking different bags am I supposed to be travelling with? Do they expect me to have two small backpacks with me?

1934 OK, the handwritten thing from the tour company is unintelligible re what's included but I may have a polite firm go at them anyway and see if it works as what do I have to lose. The sheet of paper the guide gave me says the restriction on backpacks is 20 litres, not weight. Mine I am virtually certain is 15 litres. I think I will chance taking it and if they cut up rough put the 'excess' items in a binbag (I brought one with me, half intending to use it as an emergency poncho) and put that in a locker (I am hoping this is a gym style locker not a cloakroom deal where my bag might be tampered with). I could leave the binbag here at the hotel but then that's just adding shit to deal with.

I am seriously torn about going out for a beer. I didn't intend to but there's no wifi and the early start notwithstanding I can't go to bed this early. I was just planning to read quietly in my room but frankly I'm not in the mood. I don't want to drink angry but I am not too incandescent right now. There are mosquitoes in the room too (no hook to hang a net on, not that I brought the one I've been lugging about ever since 2010, it's in my main bag back in Cusco).

Sod it, a litre isn't going to hurt, I have been drinking too much lately but I do also have abstemious periods and fuck it, I'm not sitting around in this room with just the spiders and mosquitoes for company. Also, just maybe I will reflect further over a beer on the hideously overcomplex logistics of going to Machu Piccu. The above does sound like a plan though.

Woo - I just thought, I can't check as I don't have wifi or an app installed to do the calculation - but it could well be dark at 0600 tomorrow as I wander out in a desperate attempt to locate the bus terminal. (Also, while I was already planning on not going out Sat night after Wednesday, I could have imagined my resolve slipping, but an 0600 start combined with being on my feet all day and not getting back til probably 2100 should help remove some temptation. The room in Cusco is by no means great but it only has one resident spider and there's wifi. So there's another making it up as I go along reason why it's OK to go have a drink tonight.)

Fucking hell, there's a big (big-in-the-UK standard, not tropical horror, grateful for small mercies) spider behind one of the three curtains in the room, the one I hadn't looked behind so far. Nothing I can do about it really. At home I'd spray the fucker, here it's splat or ignore and I'm not stirring any shit up unnecessarily. Definitely sleeping with the lights on tonight...

2002 At Rasta Bar simply because it's virtually next to the hotel. Expensive at 20 for a litre; it was only 16 where I had dinner but a) I wanted to shower before drinking, if I was going to drink - that's gone by the way, I may or may not shower when I get back, I expect to sweat myself disgusting tomorrow anyway so it hardly matters and b) I didn't and don't want to encounter F&F and since they will be going there for the included dinner that's a significant possibility.

The beer is Pilsen Callo, actually 1.1 litres. As always it's virtually impossible to read the ABV since it's in microscopic print on the back and it's too dark to see properly. Not rammed in here, downstairs me and two guys playing pool, can see there is an upstairs but why would I bother going up there?

2026 There's a cat here, which I think is the first nice thing I've had to say about Aguas Calientes. It might have let me stroke it but it seems in a funny mood and the last thing I need now is a bite.

2032 Wow, two cats. One's grey and white, the second seems a bit fluffier and is ginger and white.

24h from now I will be nearly back in Cusco. And in less than 10h I will have left that hotel room behind never to return.

2114 Phone is dog slow lately, fuck knows why. Anyway, back at hotel. Sounds like it's raining heavily but maybe the tiny walk back from bar was somehow under cover. I just hope it stays dry tomorrow morning at least until I get to MP.

Enormous bloated feeling developed towards end of beer, I did perhaps force the last glass down rather as somehow felt in hurry to leave, felt quite painful for a bit but has eased now.

2127 There is hot water so may have a shower. FWIW though I've hardly been unbiased or seen a huge amount of it I rather get the impression Aguas Calientes is a tiny little shithole which exists only because tourists have little choice but to come here. It could have a certain rough and ready charm if it wasn't so outright tourist oriented and just a small town.

2138 Oh, if didn't already say it, naturally both beds are nowhere near a mains socket to charge phone. Not going in shower yet, waiting for phone to charge a bit first as may take it to bed (not on Scribd, of course) and rely on it lasting when it turns itself off, plus I do have a spare battery which should be fully charged.

2144 Listening to some music (standing by socket) as wait for phone to charge. Dave Goulder's "Last Train" while totally unrelated in general makes me think of that feeling I had last night at 2am. Anyway, bus for today's trip was v like the one on the Colca Canyon tour, a slightly small coach, not a minibus. We went to Owhatsit archaeological site after lunch and before the three of us with 430 train tickets got train. I was bit worried about missing it so was bit extra harried but was quite interesting. Some people had tickets for 7 train. I guess they'd have missed the views, they were interesting if not ultra spectacular.

Woo, the phone is in arsey mode and deciding the charger is unsafe and 'not original'. Cunting piece of shit.

Listening to Carter USM's cover of The Smiths' "Panic" reminds me of Jon. Be nice to catch up with people on my return. Am still slightly heartened on setting reminders for (admittedly iirc a week after my return) to see they are 40-odd days in the future. Holiday's not over yet and I am determined to sweep away a certain amount of shit from my day-to-day life when I return.

2154 Sounds like it's pissing it down. Weather forecast for MP couple of days ago was rain/thunderstorms all week. Today generally quite sunny in Sacred Valley, few spots of rain at lunch but nothing too heavy.

2222 Should say today's guide (unrelated to tomorrow's guide) was fairly good, despite my general dissatisfaction with the time allocation and lunch. He did seem to get a bit arsey about people not listening and dropped speaking in English after a while, but in a way it was nice because I could understand 95% of what he said and it was a bit wearing listening to everything twice.

2232 Had shower which was pleasantly hot. If they'd just clean the corners of the room so it wasn't infested with spiders I'd consider this a passable (though no wifi a killer, how *surprising* that the only places which don't have it are those which come bundled with a tour so there's no market pressure) cheap (well, fuck knows what I'm actually paying) hotel.

The treacherous thought occurs to me that since I have been left to my own fucking devices tomorrow, if I get up ultra late (eg 9am) all I miss is the guided tour. I still have to fart around getting to MP myself. I can still get the same train back and the bus back to Cusco. Now, I don't intend to do this. I've paid for the fucking guide, the guided tour may be interesting and if not modulo tiredness/lack of supplies I have hours there after the tour to wander around solo. In the past I've found myself too short of time at archaeological sites, while I am in part just hacked off about everything, I do worry that tomorrow will just be too much time in a bleak 'no water unless you return to the entrance' desert, no matter how interesting. But we will see, and I do intend to be up in time to fart around enormously getting to MP in time for the tour.

Cusco, Thursday

0228 Need to get to bed. Don't think tonight needs much write up except to say the two women I met were Elsa and Helena, I will turn up at 9 tonight on offchance they do and if not I have already limited contact via email/facebook so may see them in Lima and if not meh, was fun talking to them tonight and they were patient with my slightly drunk Spanish.

0232 Did some laundry and faffed a little with photos more while trying to charge phone/laptop than for any other reason. Laundry seems to be drip drying more noisly and with more liquid to wring out of lower parts than usual. Phone still only at 68%, FFS.

1317 Awake in bed since about 10 or 11 but ridiculously lazy getting up. Anyway, have extended with hotel for Sat/Sun nights and can leave my bag there. Come out for food, fought off moderately persistent tout in plaza and in tiny cheap place El Carmen just off plaza for bisteck montado.

1329 That was pretty good actually, ate the small 'salad' (one slice tomato and some green leafy stuff). Having the coffee included in the deal now. Weather bit overcast today, have been wearing T-shirt plus jacket since I got to Cusco, not that it hasn't sometimes been v warm but not consistently.

1339 Bill 12, will make it 14. Breaking a 50, will try to accumulate some smaller bills today in anticipation of tour. Prob need to withdraw some cash later too.

1635 I am hungry, come to some restaurant for pizza which I somehow crave. No sign of any staff... I went to museum of sacred plants, which was sort of interesting if a bit jumbled and devolved largely into reading of huge volumes of (English) text. Then Museo de Inka (sp) which was interesting if a bit hard to take it all in and I was thinking about food and the now usual no photos rule was annoying. It was quite busy in MdI, not so much in sacred plant place, I was alone though just as I was leaving I had to wait to get out as a group of about ten people with guide filed in.

Being total lardarse and having medium not personal pizza, also pineapple juice (desperate five a day grab) and a sugar-free coke.

1704 Not a great pizza but meh. Easily ate the whole thing, glad I didn't have personal. Will use this as an opportunity to break a 100 then go withdraw some cash, do tiny bit of shopping and back to hotel.

Bill 30, make it 33. My right pocket has developed a hole, sigh, so have to start keeping change in left pocket. Meh.

1746 Back in room. They seem to have given me an electric oil-filled heater, without me asking. Maybe it was hidden somewhere in room and I just didn't notice before they pulled it out, but pretty sure it simply wasn't here before.

2058 At Norton Rat's, not entirely in mood but said I'd be here so... Sort of packed but due to cold room all clothes still damp. Was going to leave heater on when came out but bottled it. Prob have to pack clothes first thing in morning.

May feel different Sat - tho if we do have early start Sat may not - but after drinking a lot (I made it 7 pints of 5.5% stuff, maybe it was only 6) last night I might well not go out Sat night. See how it goes. That was an unusually boozy night and in general I don't think I'm drinking excessively.

2320 Back at hotel, they did turn up about 930, we had a chat, I didn't understand every word and there was a little bit of fake understanding on my part but in general it was OK. They are flying back to Lima tomorrow, I think there is a reasonable chance I will see them there. Only had 2 pints and a little bit of Miller which Helena gave me as she had it left when we were waiting for taxi; they gave me a lift back.

0225 Woke up about fifteen mins ago, feeling irrationally jittery re trip and slightly 'homesick'. Meh. It's not like I'm going to be stuck on the bus for hours even if it is crap, if anything I think the altitude is going to be *lower* than here, I will be back in this OK-if-nothing-else hotel Saturday night, etc etc.

Cusco, Wednesday

1210 Woke by self about 0950, snoozed on alarms, stayed awake in bed from about 11 til bit before 12. Didn't sleep too badly. Topping up phone which didn't leave on charge overnight as had it to read myself to sleep on.

Chap just came round for housekeeping, asked him to give me 10-15 mins. Bit hungry but will go to try to post off some souvenirs and a couple of photo backup microSD cards before eating.

1255 At small restaurant (Los Traviesos?) on Avenida del Sol, for lomo saltado. Posted stuff off, v quiet in post office, no queue, smidge pricey at PEN31 (mostly I would guess due to papery souvenirs, not the memory cards) but prob best get rid of them safely instead of lugging them around and I don't think I'm accumulating insane amounts of paper.

1306 See from paper on next table Ica and middle Peru hit by 5.6 earthquake. I was toying with going to Ica before Lima. Have to look into that later.

1321 Portion not huge but not bad and fairly cheap. I hope the peppers and fried onions will go some way towards my Five A Day (R) (TM) (FU) as I saw no sign of any fruit or vegetable selling shops yesterday despite looking.

1327 OK, let's pop off to Quorikancha which by luck is just round corner. Bill 14, making it 16.

1336 OK, here, strangely doddering crowds round entrance. Paid 15 for combo tkt which also includes Santa Catalina whatever that is. Miserable cunts don't allow taking photos even without flash.

1354 Descriptive text is rather lacking and I find myself perpetually being held up by tour groups. I should just listen without paying. No one offered me a tour, it's OK, the guide book says a bit and I'm not gagging to know too much but still.

1435 Sneaking odd photo here and there, not totally clear what is prohibited and what isn't. May just be the paintings. Art gallery upstairs contains fascinating and slightly disturbing sculpture El Guía by Xavier Cano, snapped that.

1540 Just been round Santa Catalina monastery, quite atmospheric and the notion of people shutting themselves away is a powerful one to my imagination.

I see from guidebook you can do paragliding at some action centre nearby, saw a tour agency advertising this (presumably same place) yday. While looking stumbled across dismissive comments on guided tours of MP (expensive and you only get a few hours at site, better to DIY). Some places, including the one I booked with, advertise 2d/1n MP for USD100 all inclusive outside, but when I enquired inside the one I booked at it was more than double that (as at all three I spoke to) so I assume noone really does it for 100. I suspect my tour will be as good as DIY, not sure about price, given I am getting to see sacred valley (guide says you can do this indepedently with a licenced taxi driver, esp if you have a group) and because it's 2d/1n we will be going to MP about dawn IIRC and presmably get most of the second day there before returning to Cusco. Given the logistics of coordinating train tickets and hotels in notorious exploitative Aguas Calientes and getting to and from the train station (at Owhatsit; you do indeed have to get train from there, or you can choose to go from nearer to Cusco) I think if I have paid extra (and I haven't tried to tot up the individual items) for the tour it's well worth it for the reduced stress. Besides, I don't think I'm trying to win any bragging rights about being a completely DIY tourist and in any case I am pretty independent on the whole anyway; it just seems smart to take advantage of prepackaged tours when appropriate.

1555 OK, just popped into tour agency on plaza re bus. Cruz del Sur do a bus to Ica/Lima every day at 2pm and 6pm. It's 15h to Ica, 22h to Lima. Ica costs about PEN190, it's 5 more to book at this agency but as she said by time you take taxi to go book at terminal it's not cheaper. (OK, I could walk, but rather not). Not booked yet as may stick on extra day or two (eg for paragliding), she said can book day in advance. I mentioned earthquake in Ica and she hadn't heard of it, she said if it wasn't that big it wouldn't get reported everywhere and she said the buses were running OK. Anyway, was meaning to find out about buses onwards and now have something to mull over. Apparently is wifi on bus, I think there was on the one I came here on but no one ever gave me password and didn't ask. That journey is kind of OK and although I might double check price of flights it strongly inclines me to go to Ica by bus. If I don't want to go to Ica, unless is somewhere else I could stop over (I don't want to go to Nazca this time round) Lima is probably next stop and that might be worth flying. But unless Ica is foul or completely in turmoil after earthquake I think going there for a couple of nights at least can't be a bad thing.

1610 OK, went in one tour agency but only bureau de change manned, went into another next door and had a chat. It's USD100 including transport, they need two people and neither Monday nor tomorrow do they have anyone else wanting to do it. Place where fly was somewhere beginning with U near a town beginning with C. I left my e-mail address and we will see if they get back to me. I would guess anyone offering paragliding is going to be reselling the same underlying offering (and it's not that commonly advertised, unlike various treks) so probably not worth getting hung up chasing round various different firms.

1806 Went round cathedral - interesting but ridiculously expensive at PEN25 and no photos allowed either - then back to hotel to Skype parents and top up phone. Since can't find any fruit/veg having second meal, come to Cafe Balcon del Sol, sat at table 3 just as was yday morning, having melon juice by way of clocking up an extra portion of fruit and pollo a la plancha. Then will go have couple of beers, not intending to make a night of it, but as will want to be preparing/going to bed early tomorrow night will go out tonight, also seeking out where to go on Saturday night which do intend to be more of a large on (depending how it goes). Not remotely seeking company tonight, will sit at bar if no tables free but not intending to make any great effort to socialise.

No idea why they are so fricking tight on photos here. I am not even putting it down to religious reasons, I have been in plenty of Catholic religious premises in Latin America without non-flash photography being banned.

1837 They forgot to put the juice on my bill, I am just so honest I pointed it out. 14 for food, 4.50 juice, call it 20. Food OK, ate the mercifully undressed cucumber and tomato slices to try to notch up moe fruit/veg consumption.

1845 At Norton Rat's pub/bar on plaza (as with CK yday in guide book). Getting a pint of their house special Norton's Pale Ale draught (10PEN) at 5.5%. Cheapest option would have been 620ml some domestic beer at 10PEN. Corona massively pricey at iirc 22 for a 330ml bottle, not that I wanted any but you might expect it to be cheaper here, maybe not, obviously it's marketed as premium.

NPA is not bad, slightly fizzy but only slightly, not served too cool, OK really.

2001 Third pint, sod it. Bit cavernous in here and though by no means empty not exactly heaving. Not too bad an atmosphere but not sure about coming here Sat night. Chap sat next to me at bar not long after got here for a bit, and some other chap has been sat at bar pretty much since I got here. Always seems odd to see other people drinking solo, maybe I just tend not to notice.

2012 Rolling Stones' "You can't always get you want" playing, raised a smile for some reason. We did have some Pink Floyd (from Wish You Were Here, can't be sure which track now) earlier too.

2048 Into slightly drunk contemplative mood, having fourth. This will be last unless something dramatic happens. Trying to dredge statistical knowledge up from depths of my brain. If members of a population have independent probability p of dying each year from birth (not realistic, I know), what is the expected lifespan of an individual? I am on the verge of convincing myself lifespans are Poisson distributed and thus the expected lifespan is 1/p. But I'd hesitate to put much money on it. Rolling Stones song can't remember title of but "we all need someone we can lean on" lyric playing.

2136 Getting a fifth (bite me, nothing dramatic happened), this is slightly OTT but on the other hand this is a relatively rare solo binge and I feel quite good so f it. Maybe I could have made an effort to socialise earlier but didn't feel need. Not that it's a problem - probably same as in Bariloche and it was cool to meet Colin there - but here it is probably so touristy anywhere I might go in Cusco it's more a question of socialising with fellow tourists than locals. Admittedly in Arequipa last Saturday - I realise as I write this I never blogged the details, maybe later, but I did cover them lightly in an email to Rab, so Future Steve can just read that as a memory jogger - I started the night with a Texan living in Arequipa to teach English but I ended it with a group of locals. Meh, last thing I want to be is a travel snob and I'd openly admit I love meeting anyone for a good chat, fuck their background, but still, Cusco - or at least the bars and also places I have been so far - is such a tourist mecca it's definitely more like Bariloche than (say) Puerto Montt, Arequipa probably lying somewhere between the two. Not that Arequipa isn't touristy - no shortage of tour operators in and near plaza - but that night in Brujas didn't feel too touristy (not that that's inherently a bad thing, even if I do feel more smug and also less boring if I meet locals - to a tourist I'm just an old-ish one of them, to a local I might be a bit more interesting).

Actually as I look round the bar an oldish group (older than me, I would estimate) group of tourists - or perhaps expats? - are playing pool. I'd still suggest the average punter here is a tourist of maybe 25-30 (perhaps it matters if you pick the mean or the mode). All this is based on dodgy inference, I fully admit. Saturday I might well try for conversation, it was never part of the plan tonight, not that staying out so late was either.

I'm sure Saturday will be busier but if I do come here Sat - and it's probably better than Crosse Keys, if only on price of a pint - I probably shouldn't turn up too early, 9 would be fine I guess.

2204 Musing randomly - lightly drunkleny, if you prefer - I am thinking about the holier-than-thou attitude to taking a tour to MP and they really can fuck off. Yes, sometimes being a tourist - traveller to use the smugger term - can be a challenge and sometimes in hindsight those challenges are strangely fun, but to deliberately seek out difficulties seems stupid. Life in general is tricky enough that there's no need to hunt out problems just for the hell of it.

Some people inside singing Happy Birthday To You. In a way it would be nice to live the - probably completely illusory - life of the smug young thing voyaging from hostel to hostel with new acquaintances everywhere made effortlessly in each new hostel (which I personally can't do, if anyone can, though to be scrupulously fair maybe I could if I really tried), but I do honestly feel (it helps being a bit introverted - but I do like to meet people too, I think the stereotypical binary definition of introversion is ridiculously unrealistic) it's better, from my perspective, to have the kind of encounters I have every now and then (eg Puerto Montt, maybe Arequipa counts) which you get when you're travelling solo and meet people who aren't doing the same. I do perhaps wish I could do that hostel friendship thing but if I could maybe I'd never get the other kind.

V nice views from bar balcony. For the record, after my irrational bile the other day, Cusco is v attractive with the colonial stone buildings and the hills around town, though the buildings on the hills look a bit poverty stricken even if they are attractive from a distance.

2222 Having another. This is OTT but I feel OK and I don't do it all the time and in general fuck you if you want to get judgmental. This probably will be the last. I believe hotel is 24h reception but haven't checked. I feel OK now but I am prob not too far off feeling pissed as opposed to pleasantly not really drunk but evidently it is affecting me, and while I am not worrying too much about my medically mandated alcohol allowance (I am relatively temperate in general) probably not great to push things, esp if want to be out Saturday. This is six pints and of 5.5% stuff too, good job I am an experienced toper but when the drunkenness hits it hits and I don't want that.

0113 Viva random drunkery. I struck up conversation with two women sat next to me (Helena & Elsa, at least phonetically) who were tourists from Lima. V enjoyable conversation, may meet them tomorrow night or failing that in Lima. They gave me a lift back in their taxi, the place was boarded up but on ringing the super-high bell they let me in.

Cusco, Tuesday

1028 Super hacked off in general. The room is cold, I don't want to have a fucking shower, I don't want to fucking Skype my parents, I don't want to look at the fucking guide book to see how to go about visit fucking Macchu Picchu, or even how to spell it, I don't want to go into some shitty tour office and try to book a tour. The wifi reception in room at least on mobile is shitty, it is OK for email but probably no more.

1040 I am really losing the fucking plot. The shower is one of those lethal electric head ones which just about manages to achieve lukewarrm temperature. I am in an irrational fucking rage, I really have had it with everything. Fuck the shitty hotel, fuck everyone.

1102 I am just *astounded*. Macchu Picchu is a complete fuckfest of epic proportions to visit. You have to get to Aguas Calientes then take a local bus. You need a ticket for the site purchased fuck knows how or when. You can get a train to Aguas Calientes but it leaves at 0742 or something from a place 13km west of Cusco. Fuck knows how you find your way round the site on your own, and if you miss the connection back you are presumably just fucked. There is some hill you can climb but you need to apply for a permit three years in advance enclosing hen's teeth or unicorn horn (at your option) and while not technically difficult the ascent is not recommended from people who suffer from vertigo. It's hot as hell when it's not pissing it down but you're not allowed to take disposable water bottles in. The guide book pages just reek of pretentious hiking style shit. I'm going to go and have a fucking enormous lunch then wander into some random tour operators and quiz them. Really not feeling the magic. I thought the guide book was supposed to help but as so often it seems more about posing about hard-core or difficult options. I don't think it even mentions the train. seat61.com has details which are quite clear but clear in that they demonstrate the mind-boggling complexity of going there. Fuck a doodle do.

Oooh, baby. Just managed to find something on train in guide book. It says the *only* way to access Aguas Calientes and Macchu Pichu is by train. So what the fuck is the deal with all these tour operators offering a bus service? Fuck fuck fuck. The one thing I have going for me here is that I think Jun-Aug is peak season.

1136 Found somewhere doing bisteck a lo pobre. Not going to write more now, hope food and being out of that fucking freezing hotel room (it's sunny out, but my feet are still cold from the room) will improve my mood.

1211 This place is Ñucchu. Food OK if not fantastic, came with some tomato and cucumber slices I have religiously avoided touching lest they be dressed, also a fried banana which I have eaten except where it touched the vegetables. One fried egg and some rice as well as chips. Not sure if I feel that much better but at least a bit.

1222 Bill 23, will make it 25. Still not really in mood for tour agencies but let's have a go.

1429 OK, spoke to three agencies, and I have paid PEN619 for a tour Fri/Sat to sacred valley Fri, train to Aguas Calientes Fri afternoonish, overnight there then guided tour plus free time at MP early Sat. I have to pay about PEN70 for entry to sacred valley on top of that and there may be an extra meal to pay for; I paid 25 extra for buffet lunch on I think first day. That includes hotel in AC. I was/am due to check out of here by 9am Fri so the 830 start is not too bad. I will need to leave my bag behind but depending how I get on with this room I may book to stay here Sat (and Sun?) nights on condition I can leave my bag between two stays, if not am sure I can get somewhere else to look after it if I book there for after tho be faff dumping bag there Fri morning. Not worrying about that until tomorrow as don't want to decide until I see how I get on with this hotel.

Oh, the agent muffed the USD to PEN conversion and was going to charge me just PEN350ish, but being super honest and wanting to avoid problems I said I thought that was wrong.

My teeth hurt, but I think it's because I was inadvertently clamping my jaws together on the bus last night/this morning.

Realised earlier today I have about six weeks left and that has to include flying to BA to catch my return flight. It's OK, still plenty of time and I am determined to make things less sucky when I am back home and I will sketch out an itinerary in next day or two.

1509 Been round small museum in Scotiabank saw when got cash earlier, though not allowed up to second floor, didn't understand a word the guard said but still. Was going to come into Museo de Arte Popular (sort of walked past it by accident) but if I read the sign right entry is PEN70 as a special offer, it is normally PEN130, so they can fuck right off.

1628 Bite me. At Cross Keys having a pint of Abbot Ale. Went to Museo del Convento de la Merced, building quite cool and also one v heavy metal album cover-esque painting showing the devil being tortured by various beats, but sadly photography prohibited even without flash. PEN15 for the pint which I guess isn't too bad, though it is served a bit cold.

Lashings of touts round the various plazas, though fortunately not too persistent. One woman offered me a flyer for an Indian buffet but I waved her off without thinking about it and then when I wandered back up street in hope of finding her again she was gone.

2141 In bed. Room not been that cold but sheets feel very clammy. No socket next to bed either, woo.

Arequipa-Cusco

2029 Will note FWLIW that I am leaving from Terminal Terrapuerto (not Terminal Terrestre). Was hoping seat next to me hadn't been sold but a young woman (with a megaphone) has just got on. Not a massive deal. Staff chap just came round videoing all the passengers and reading off the seat numbers as he did so. I guess if security has been a problem on buses in the past it's perhaps understandable and I feel less narked about this than airline security but still, not 100% happy about it.

0120 GPS says we are in Juliaca. Can't sleep. Pissed off. Hate overnight buses. Triple whammy: a) arriving arse o'clock in morning b) have to sleep on back c) can't just read until I drop off c1) because the Scribd app appears to override the auto screen timeout and it would drain battery c2) because the phone would then drop into my lap and potentially end up on the floor and be stolen or accidentally trodden on.

I assume it's geography but I get the impression there are no direct roads between most major Peruvian cities. Juliaca is nowhere near on a straight line between Arequipa and Cusco. And I have a horrible feeling going from Cusco to Lima involves travelling via Nazca. Meh. Sufficient unto the evening... I'm not making any big plans for today, I want to get checked in and I'm kind of looking forward to lunch and I might have an early night.

0802 Woo. Gmail app has lost chunks of this as written during night. I love solid, reliable software. Maybe I just deleted them in my sleep, that must be it.

Anyway, I'm at Cafe Balcon del Sol near hostel. Couldn't check in but left bag there. Walked from bus terminal as initially a big horde (well, 5 or 10, terminal not v busy, terminal Santiago I think) of doddering fuckwits stood around in the entrance and I wondered why they weren't taking taxis. Then they all disappeared. Then taxi drivers kept offering me their services but I didn't trust any of them after the actually more damaging than helpful advice about taxi robberies in Arequipa. Naturally the streets near terminal are designed to isolate and kill pedestrians, either by impact or by starvation while stranded on a traffic island. Also the street dogs here seem to like to have fights with each other, which adds an extra little dimension of terror.

Reverting back to what got lost from writing on bus, I was definitely awake til gone 3, probably til gone 4, maybe even 5. Was tired but couldn't sleep, I hate sleeping on my back and main problem with buses is I can't read til I fall asleep as a) scribd app would then drain battery, since it arrogantly overrides the auto screen off you configure b) it would drop into my lap and possibly from there to floor and hence be stolen or trodden on once I fell asleep.

Alternately stifled and frozen by the air conditioning. I spent most of the night talking myself out of panicking that I couldn't breathe properly due to altitude. (In a sense it is reassuring I was able to lug my bag over from the terminal with no problems.)

Urgh, papaya juice with breakfast (no simple choice like orange, was this or pineapple or something else) and I forgot it has an aftertaste that doesn't agree with me. Mind you, right now very little agrees with me.

Totally irrational but right now I fucking hate Cusco. It seems a bit of a tourist trap round hotel and the rest of it seems a bit run down and pedestrian unfriendly and the street dogs bother me in a way they don't normally in a city during daylight.

Oh, and for whatever reason I am near continually ejecting gas from my anus. I only don't call it farting because fortunately it doesn't seem to smell. Probably due to diet switching between fruit heavy and not. Fucking annoying though. Been going on all night (good job it doesn't smell). I don't need a shit, went to bog at terminal and confirmed it.

Did eventually get to sleep as woke up something like 530 or 6 feeling a bit better. We got in maybe something like 645 or 7.

It seems quieter that I would have expected near hotel, maybe it's not peak tourist season or they're all in bed. In really foul irrational mood so don't trust anything I say. Feeling bit better than I did on walk over but still not great.

Oh, and the phone GPS decided to crap out overnight so GPS track has gaps. I had to toggle airplane mode on and off to get it to lock when I wanted to confirm we were in Cusco not somewhere else when everyone entered 'about to get off the bus' mode half an hour before we actually got to the terminal. Crock of shit.

0839 Bill 8, made it 10. They couldn't change a 20 and I think the woman ran off to find change for a 10, but not clear, I just left (incidentally falling over on wet tiles at bottom of stairs, fortunately not too heavily - and fwiw I haven't had a drink since Sunday night). Wandering aimlessly now.

Arequipa, Monday

1446 At Chifa Taiyuan for chaufo con pollo. Wrote a few paragraphs earlier but lost. Got up about 11 but milled round in room til about 1. Bought ticket for Cusco for tonight, have to change voucher for tkt at terminal which is a faff but less so than schlepping over there and back just to buy tkt. Got to be there 730 for 830 bus and doubtless have to arrive super early to allow for uncertainty re taxi; will ask hotel to call me one but can't assume they will. Bit of a waste to have paid for room tonight and not use it but not big deal. Went back to hotel after buying tkt and booked hotel in Cusco for three nights, may extend but don't want to overcommit to start with esp if may want to overnight near Macchu Picchu (sp). Come out now for food, will then perhaps wander to some park near the convent, not getting too hung up on seeing anything specific. Will get fruit and go back and pack 430-5ish.

1952 At terminal. Not a happy bunny.

Walked up to Puente Grau after food but couldn't really bring myself to do anything else with pre-departure jitters, went back to hotel. Surfed a bit then packed (didn't want to). About 630 went out of room and yay, as I had noticed 20 mins earlier but hoped would change, owners obvously gone out as stairway to office locked off. Simultaneously a reminder came up on my phone about a loose SD card (well, in a plastic case) in my bag. I suddently remembered not seeing it when packing and wondered if had dropped out. Went back into room in joint panic over that and taxi and tore bag apart and searched floor (shining torch under beds etc) and completely failed to find that SD card (which had all first day and a bit of second day of Colca Canyon tour on). Also thinking about having to get taxi off street and risk of being mugged as a result. Losing the plot at this point. About 645 going on 7 I repacked and have probably managed to lose something else as a result of all that frenzied searching and legged it out to plaza (bag contains 2 litres water just to make it heavier). Got a taxi from recommended firm from web and it was OK but was nervous. Locked both back doors as advised by someone met Sat night. Fare quoted was 7 but paid 10.

I can only hope that SD card is languishing somewhere in my bag inside something else when I have time to unpack carefully.

Anyway, at terminal queued for probably 20-30 mins to get voucher converted to ticket. I could swear one woman pushed in front of me and then two tourists behind me asked if they could jump the queue as their bus went in 20 mins (at 8, mine 830) and tho I dithered I let them.

Because I feel compelled to follow advice from web (or gide book?) about not taking valuables in hand luggage I have had to put my main bag in 'boot'. Here you check it in airport style instead of handing it in when you get on bus. Fortunately not too much of queue for that. Then had to queue again, fortunately quick moving, to pay the PEN2 terminal departure tax. Then I thought I needed a shit so paid PEN0.50 for the bog and of course I didn't. And now I have no idea where to board the bus, there are two departure gates but no screens or any indication on ticket.

Oh, and although I got an aisle seat I am in a double not a single, I think. Didn't get to see seat plan when bought tkt but suspect bus nearly full as was booking late.

Most of the shit has resolved itself but not happy about losing those photos and still in a bad mood from all the fucking stress so far. Not just the taxi, ticket queue was so slow was worried would miss some deadline for checking bag in etc.

2015 OK. I just queued up again to ask where the bus went - some cunt behind me couldn't wait *two seconds* while the fuckers ahead of me left the counter before I started speaking to the woman on the desk and (probably) asked if I was waiting to buy tickets, but I'm so hacked off I couldn't understand and waved him ahead. Anyway, it's neither of the departure gates, a chap (who said he was called Steven as well, meh, dubious) checked my passport (so had to dredge out hidden belt) and then let me through into this lounge area behind desk. In theory I guess this is nice but I had no fucking idea it was here and I'm still worried I'm going to miss the bus as there is no screen and fuck knows how many buses they run. Anyway, on the upside, I discovered the missing SD card in my hidden belt, so that's something and once eg I get to Cusco and am safely in the hotel everything will be OK again.

2021 OK, on bus, it was waiting outside lounge. Ticket checked twice but I guess that's OK. Asked about security when bought ticket, woman at travel agency said the direct buses which don't pick up random people en route are safer, and while I don't much like being checked up on etc I am worried enough about security that I guess it's good if they are checking the tickets to be sure who gets on. Presumably potential robbers aren't willing to just purchase a ticket. Anyway. I am sort of recovering my equilibrium and let's crank some HMHB up and try to relax. Will send this (or at least leave it in outbox) and start new entry for journey, tho prob not write much given we arrive at 6am. Oh, I am travelling with Cruz del Sur and modulo all the queueing none of this reflects badly on their service (so far). I was staying at Hostel Arequipa, Consuelo 606, and apart from them not being there all the time the place was cheap and reasonably comfortable and generally OK. Shared bathroom but never saw any other guests (tho oddly sometimes had people outside waiting to be let in on bell, but never saw anyone inside). Place in Cusco is private bathroom but still cheap, 29 quid for three nights.

Arequipa, Sunday

1853 At El Colorado for quarter chicken and chips. Alarm at 3pm then went back to sleep and only got up a bit before 6. Have come out for food then will go back for shower, I am I think meeting someone I met last night at Brujas at 10. Will go over and if I don't then no harm, will have early night Will write more on last night later.

Will probably stay here another night as don't really want to be going to Cusco tomorrow night if not had much sleep. When go back will see if can extend for another night, I just might 'discard' that night if I feel OK tomorrow morning and book a bus tomorrow morning for tomorrow night but we will see. Won't be a total waste as would at least then not be homeless during the day. In some sense this is wasting time but really I think it's just going with the flow and not sticking rigidly to a plan even when circumstances have changed. Be silly to 'spoil the fun' here by rushing off overly precipitately, and I certainly don't want to be knackered when I travel to Cusco.

1923 OK, paid for tomorrow night. Incidentally if didn't already say was at Hostal Le Prince in Tacna.

2205 At Brujas, managed to get seat at bar, quite busy. Richard Cheese's "Creep" is queued up on the TV showing the playlist. Not really in mood for being out tbh but did say to Gloria this morning would be here at 10 so I am. Don't see her. May not stay out v late if no one turns up.

Streets bit dead round hostel but was OK, bit concerned about going home but we'll have to see.

2343 Nearly finished second beer, will go after this. Bit of chat with Reina (woman who runs place) but I have been reading on phone, I just don't really want to make the effort to strike up conversation tonight (I sated my appetite for company last night), as said earlier am here because I said I would be. No point forcing things when I'm not in the mood. Not tired as such but bit worried about walk home and all in all best not to push it.

By no means dead or deserted in here but not rammed and people keep drifting out.

0002 Back at hostel. No problems on walk back though was a bit on the alert (possibly pointless, not sure). Gave 20 when paid for the two beers (bill 14) and didn't wait for change.

Oh, there were one or two people in plaza. Cathedral v attractively lit up.