Antigua, Thursday night

1920 In Txirrinta. Went to that London bar in 6a Norte. Got charged 27 for a draught gallo (speaking English; seems to be that sort of place) which apart from being pricey didn't agree with any of the prices shown on the big price list (it was more). Live music was on but I didn't feel comfortable sitting there at the bar listening on my own. Dug phone out, as I obviously am here, old habits die hard.

Eavesdropped on conversation of possibly Canadian guy up the bar who had lived here 1.5 years if I got it right - he started in English and switched to Spanish - telling how he had been robbed at gunpoint by three guys who pulled up in a car when he was 50 yards from his front gate. TBH not sure if this was here in Antigua or GC. It wasn't clear. Maybe I should have used this as an excuse to horn in on the conversation but I wasn't sure if that would be appropriate.

Apparently they had robbed three or so other foreigners but he was the only one willing to press charges.

Anyway, just charged 15 for a draught Moza here. Possibly smaller but still better.

Oh, it's pissing it down. I came out *anyway* because I have to get out a bit or I'll go nuts. Thunder, lightning.

Might try some other bars another night. Obviously Thursday may not be a great night - this place is empty except for group of women and the London place was mostly a few people who all seemed to know each other sitting at the bar. Meh. I'll crack it eventually.

Place next door had quite lively live music but I was reluctant to dive in through the door out of the rain when I have no idea what sort of place it is. In my head it feels like midnight, but of course it's still very early. Women just left, think it's just me and barmaid for the moment.

I thought I had a glasses cleaning cloth in my pocket but I can't find it. May have left it in room when I swapped trousers for laundry. They're not expensive, but it always annoys me how quickly they get lost out of my pocket, and I only brought one.

It wasn't lost on me when I decided to abandon the London bar that this place is en route to the hostel. Not saying I won't go back to that bar, but I'd prefer not to be paying near London prices and I'll try some other places first. I did actually see two other people who might be guests at my hostel this afternoon - shock! - but I don't hold out much hope of getting into a chat there.

Ah, cheery. Just noticed a photo on the wall with a banner above it saying: "How to smash neoliberalism: A photo exploration of life in Guatemala". I don't know if I'm actually a neoliberal - frankly the 'neo' prefix seems more pejorative than anything anyone would actually describe themself as - but this plus the anarchofeminism poster gives me a sort of feeling this isn't quite my kind of place. OTOH except for being deserted it seems quite a nice place, and while I have a low tolerance for being harangued by ideologues I'm not really all that political a person.

It's vaguely tempting to try some other bar but I don't fancy wandering round in the pouring rain chancing my arm. I had these two bars half scoped out from previous wanderings during the day. I think I might have one more here then call it a night. I have no super pressing plans for my remaining time here - I am meeting my Spanish teacher tomorrow afternoon, I would like to walk up Cerro de la Cruz if it's safe (will see what she says; also may go Sat afternoon when I'd hope it will be super busy) and I need to book a hostel and transport to my next place - probably Pana, for maybe 3 nights to start with and then I can see if I want to move on or extend my stay - but given I am booked here til Monday morning this is hardly an overly full schedule, so I can afford to spend an hour or so seeking out other bars tomorrow afternoon.

Maybe I'm wrong - I can't quite call it bravado - but I can't help feeling if I were mugged at gunpoint (or, I suppose, with no gun) I'd regret the loss of my phone more than the incident itself. But on the other hand I'm glad I didn't succumb to my inclination to leave it back at the hostel tonight. Yeah, playing with it is bad for being open to meeting people, but tonight hasn't felt like there was much chance of that anyway and I'd have been sat around like a chump without it. Then again, maybe I should do that, just for the hell of it, and not worry about looking like a chump. On the third hand, there have to be other people around before you can meet them, a criteria this bar singularly fails to meet and I'm a bit dubious there was much potential in the London place. In hindsight I should probably have butted in on armed robbery guy; if he'd told me to fuck off not the end of the world. OT4H, I sort of didn't want someone filling my head with more disturbing shit.

Oh, I did stumble across a library earlier which seemed to have some exhibition of - and I appreciate this undermines my declaration of interest - neotextiles or neoceramics or something like that from today for n weeks. I should try to check that out while I'm here.

You know, I'm going to leave here after this beer. I'll try to us their bogs, then if I spot anything even remotely promising on the way home I'll dive in and chance it - I can't be ripped off too heavily for one beer, I guess. And if I don't see anywhere it's more I can drink another night anyway.

2015 Back at hostel. Saw one place that looked mildly lively but while I was dithering trying to decide if it was a restaurant or a bar I collided with some people on the pavement and decided to give it a miss. Saw quite a few other places which looked empty and can hardly believe they were open. Meh. If it's not happening it's not happening, cut my losses and save myself for another night. I may steel myself to check out some of the places recommended in the guidebook tomorrow night. I half wonder if it's a bit 'low season' now and while there's no shortage of tourists exactly, maybe the numbers are low enough that they're spread thinly over the bars.

Guidebook implies locals from GC visit here at the weekend, which might be good for liveliness but probably isn't helpful for prospects of a chat as I'm sure they come in groups. But hey, at least I made an effort tonight and it was good to have a couple of beers.

Oh, there were 'goodnight white pride' and 'antifascista' stickers on the mirror in the bogs in Txiwhatsit. Again, not really my cup of tea. (It's not so much that I'm in favour of what these things nominally oppose, as that a certain arsey opposition to these things rubs me up the wrong way in itself.) Also, unless I have vastly misperceived the demographics, I find it hard to believe 'white pride' is a serious issue in Guatemala - maybe it is, but this feels like a tedious importing of US-ish social concerns because they go with a certain political frame of mind. Meh.

I probably exaggerate when I say pissing it down. It's raining and moderately heavily but I'm not soaked to the skin or anything. Can hear it on roof of my room but not unpleasantly so.

It's too damn early really but given the early start I may just go clean my teeth and go to bed, or at least bed-ish.

I have frequently considered and dismissed the idea of bringing a second semi-disposable smartphone with me. TBH it has renewed appeal thinking about the mugging thing. I wouldn't need to have a SIM in it, so I could leave my valuable UK SIM in the main phone back at hostel - I could still call 999 equiv from semi-disposable and read offline books etc. It's not like the weight would kill me either. TBH the biggest objection right now seems to be the potential for shit with customs on arrival; I didn't pay that much attention, having only one phone, but ISTR something about one phone per person on the Guatemalan customs form, for example.

I remembered in the minibus today that on the way over from airport to Antigua, as I struggled to dislodge the seatbelt from the back of the seat, the metal buckle thwacked rather violently against the window. Luckily it didn't shatter but I spent a fair few minutes during the journey thinking how fucking awkward it would have been if it had.

It's 2052 but WTF, let's sort of go to bed. Fingers crossed I can be up for breakfast tomorrow.

Antigua, Thursday

1509 So I did the 'wake up early and lie in bed wondering what time it is but not looking at phone to see in case I don't like the answer' thing this morning, but I woke up an indeterminate amount of time before the first alarm went off at 0525. I did have to go get the chap from the garden to let me out so it's a good job I asked yesterday.

On bus over to Pacaya noticed one town with what I assume to be a storm drain down one side of the road, and all the houses had a little bridge across it to get to the road. Wemmick would have loved it. :-)

Pacaya was actually pretty cool. The sign said it was a 'medium' difficulty; that might be helpful if I ever see the difficulty of anything else. I think we started from about 1900m and walked up to 2300m-ish; I was heartened to see it was sub-2500m as I understand you don't get proper altitude sickness below that.

When we set off uphill I felt a bit strained - probably just the normal "I am walking uphill" feeling, but it worried me briefly. It wasn't a trivial effort to do the walk but nor did it feel ridiculously challenging, which was good. I did feel a bit tired with all the walking up and down, but just kept plodding on and it was fine.

A bit hot but overall I think we were lucky with the weather; it wasn't wet and there wasn't too much cloud, though cloud levels increased a bit over the few hours we were there.

The physical high point had great views of the actual volcano cone (Cono Mckinley? I have a photo of the name but can't be sure I have remembered it correctly) and the three nearby volcanoes (Agua, Acatenango and Fuego, IIRC). You could see smoke coming off the sides and - though it was pretty subtle - thin red streaks of lava making their way down. We then walked down into the area below where ash and volcanic rock had collected; in many ways the view of the cone from there was more impressive.

The rocks were very loose and sharp and care was needed not to fall over; I had a couple of iffy moments but apart from a tiny cut at the base of my right thumb I mostly escaped unscathed. As you got nearer to the cone the rocks you were walking on did get noticeably warmer; I thought it was the weather getting warmer at first.

We did the toasting marshmallows over the hot rocks thing; there was no actual red lava there but the guide said there probably would be a few metres below, as this stuff had only come out of the volcano about three weeks ago.

Incidentally, I asked the guide about Agua; he said it's dormant but it is not a national park, there are no trails or guards or anything and it's dangerous because of bandits (not nature). This confirms my researches the other day. I do wonder exactly what these bandits *do* - can there really be enough people to rob there? But I didn't ask that.

Kept nodding off on the bus home. We seemed to go pretty fast at times, not terrifyingly so but the idea of an accident did cross my mind.

I tipped the two guides Q10 each; not sure this was necessary but they seemed decent enough chaps and didn't want to be unnecessarily cheap. It was a pretty frugal trip all in, at 60 for the bus and 50 for entry to the park, with the guides getting paid out of one of those.

Came back to hostel, had a shower and took some clothes out to laundry opposite - I was a bit of an arse and asked if they could wash at 30C and not dry them at a high heat (cos I'm worried about shrinking them) but we'll see. Q12.something, which isn't bad, and I can collect at 5:30 today apparently.

Went out to have some lunch/dinner, stumbled on a place called something like Sol de Oriente just down from hostel. A bit put off by MoS coming out to tout, but the price looked good - Q35 for the economy menu. I had pollo asado (grilled/roast chicken - hard to say which, maybe grilled) with cooked vegetables, a bit of rice and some tortillas. And a glass of non-sparkling lemonade, which was very nice. The portion wasn't that large but all in all not bad. I tipped Q10, wondered if that was excessive but meh, still cheap-ish.

When I got back to hostel just now I asked the woman on the desk about safety. She said (paraphrasing slightly) it was OK to walk in the central bit, but not the suburbs ("orillas"; I am assuming my translation is good without checking). So I think I'm OK to walk to those more-central-than-the-hostel bars a few blocks away, but if I wanted to go - not sure if there is anything there - to some bar out further from the centre walking would probably be foolish. Of course I may get mugged anyway but have to give it a go.

Plan is to head out 6-630ish, try a couple of places that might have live music (always fun and something to 'do' which isn't fiddling with my phone), have a few but not loads of beers (I may want to go out Fri/Sat too) and if I can strike up a conversation with someone that's a valuable bonus.

Antigua, Wednesday

0922 Slept surprisingly well. Woke up and it was light and I wondered if the alarm hadn't gone off, but decided not to force things and if I'd overslept sod it. Lay awake for what felt like ages, then my optimistic 8:45 alarm went off and I was surprised. I felt tired then, of course.

Didn't want to get up and face the awful chores of breakfast and sorting out some kind of trip, but I did. I'm in the hostel garden where there is a kitchen out the back waiting for the free breakfast; I have the entire place to myself except for staff, so no social difficulties. If I'd known the breakfast was in the garden I'd have worn my fleece - I just have a T-shirt on - but it's not really cold.

In theory am meeting my Spanish teacher at some point but WhatsApp isn't playing ball in terms of allowing me to contact her - I suspect some international-ish glitch with the phone number she gave me. Think after breakfast will go back to room and have a brief read up on web/guide book re the least demanding of the nearby walks and then steel myself to go out and talk to a couple of tour agencies. Finding one isn't hard, you can't throw a stone without hitting one, but I just find this super-disagreeablee for reasons I am struggling to articulate.

Notwithstanding the 'what exactly am I going to do' and 'I have to talk to tour companies' feeling I feel OK. Not super energised or excited for the opportunities ahead, but hey, it's something. Feel surprisingly unhungry after not eating since the flights and that in the last 24h being primarily 500g of fruit and nuts - yes, in raw calorie terms that 500g is more than enough for a day, but I might have expected to feel hungry anyway. Not complaining, just noting.

Need to bear in mind my "don't rush myself" rule. If I get sod all done today it's OK; I probably will get something done anyway. Only if I do nothing for a few days do I need to worry.

OK, breakfast pretty good. You have a few choices, I picked the one named after the hostel as it didn't have beans. :-) (I wonder if these are maybe refried beans, not baked beans, but not chancing it just now...) Coffee, bread roll, few slices watermelon, Mexican-style scrambled eggs (my name; they just say 'eggs') and a pancake with syrup. Not enough to live solely off the breakfast but certainly good for being included with room. Will loiter here with second cup of coffee and start reading up on tours and safety.

Right. The actual guide book says fuck all about visiting any of the three adjacent volcanoes, beyond really naming them. I think I will try to memorise their names (so I can distinguish walks up them vs trips to other places on the signs outside tour agencies), have a quick check of the safety advice then go wander out and brave the agencies. I'll just do a couple and refuse to buy anything straight away. I'm virtually certain at least one of them is - safety permitting - a half day up and down job, based on stuff I read before I came, which seems an acceptable place to start.

1039 Re-read F&CO site and it seems a touch less scary now.

The three local volcanoes are Agua, Fuego and Acatenango. There is also Pacaya which is nearer to Guatemala City but is (we're not that far away) sort of local. According to wikitravel (not sure how much I trust it but have to start somewhere) Agua is very dangerous (due to humans) and no reputable companies go there. Acatenango is a stiff one-day hike or you can overnight there, which allows you to (sometimes) see the active Fuego volcano at night. I couldn't see it stated explicitly but I assume you can't go up Fuego as it's too active or at least at risk of being active. Pacaya is the 'easy' one.

As semi-confirmation of this, there's a sign in English advertising numerous tours and transfers here in my room and it lists Pacaya and Acatenango but not Fuego or Agua.

There is also Cerro de la Cruz on the edge of town; I'd want some confirmation but wikitravel says there is a police presence there during the day so I could probably trog up there solo. Maybe worth paying attention to when looking for tour agencies.

Further poke around leads to highly confusing advice on CdlC; sites seem to disagree whether there's a periodic police escort or that's discontinued and replaced by regular patrols. I am not going up today anyway, I may ask eg at the hostel desk (but not until I've sorted Pacaya as I don't want the hostel selling me a Pacaya tour until I've had a chance to shop round).

I may do Acatenango but definitely best to at least do Pacaya first. Maybe there's even an element of acclimatisation which would make it better done after I've spent time in a higher part of the country - I've obviously only been here a day and it's only 1500m (maybe less, can't remember precisely) here anyway.

1232 In Txirrinta (on 7a Norte??) having a Moza beer (dark, draught). Q15 for one, 25 for two - as it's day and I'm on a tight medical alcohol budget just having the one. Looks bigger than a half pint but not a pint; they didn't say a size and I didn't ask. Tastes OK.

Passed that London bar on 6a Norte; they have live music from 6 today so maybe they will tomorrow. If I can crack the taxi home/walking home safety option that might be a plan for Thursday night.

Went into a couple of tour agencies near hostel. Very limited fuss. Q60 or Q80 for half day tour to Pacaya, choice of 6am or 2pm. Am toying - came in here to sit and null - with 6am tour tomorrow. Spanish teacher will probably meet me tomorrow so could do it after.

Yawning my head off all morning; not sure why since it's not late in UK and I slept well. Meh.

Not planning to go out tonight given a) yawning b) possible 6am tour. This also puts overindulgence off for another day.

They do Hoegaarden here at Q30, menu says draft is Q15 with a star, indicating that's happy hour 3pm-7pm. Doesn't say how big the standard beer is, or how strong anything is.

Can't remember if I used usted form with barmaid (who, not that it usually guides me, looks my age ish), which I am trying to do but not sure if right. Perhaps ask Spanish teacher about this, though I never seem to get a clear answer. Maybe using tu comes across as refreshingly informal from an obvious foreigner, though equally it may come across as rude or unthinking, or maybe no one cares from a foreigner.

Let's stop writing this shit and mull over the 6am tour so I can go book. I am assuming there's no strong price-quality correlation and they are all just reselling a few underlying tour services. There's a Q50 charge to get in as well, but both the ones I asked had that. Something on web said you don't save money going on your own anyway as regulations require you to have a guide and their fee is the same for 1 or 12 people.

Ah, sign on the wall has Moza at 5% but says Q18; I might guess that's a bottle, but let's assume the draught is the same strength. Still no idea what size this glass actually is.

There's a "conservatorio" (discussion group?) on anarcho-feminism and punk here Saturday from 4:30-8. I'll have to go along.

I noted on the ads in GC yesterday and see again here the health warning on beer ads here just says (translating) "the consumption of this product causes serious damage to health" . No "excess consumption" or "abuse" here; it is simply damaging. Let's party!

Oh. I wandered round what I think was Templo de la Merced as I was passing. Quite an impressive building. A sign in the entrance says that brides and "quinceaneras" (debutantes as a rough translation?) are not permitted to pose for photos in the church. And you're not allowed to light rainbow candles in the candle-burning-stand-things. I also learned the difference between the doctrines of virgin birth and immaculate conception. Who says travel doesn't broaden the mind?

Was sure I was going to mention something else but can't think of it now.

Oh yeah. Having today paid attention to the travel agent signs and picked up a leaflet or two at those places I spoke to, while it's not necessarily the best idea, it looks like you *could* use Antigua as a base and see quite a bit of the country. I noted two-day tours to Flores/Tikal, which I had been a bit worried about in terms of safety, so while I may or may not go and may or may not go alone, this is always an option. Similarly, while I think I will move over to Pana and Lake Atitlan from here and stay there for a bit and see what I can do in terms of activities, it is possible to get tours leaving from and returning to here.

This does make me think that (not saying this is entirely a sequitur...) what I might do in terms of Spanish schools is travel on for maybe three weeks total without worrying about it. If I find somewhere I like - and I'd really rather not study here in Antigua if I can help it, rationally or otherwise - I can stay there, but if all else fails I could spend 2-4 weeks here in Antigua studying while getting in some tours so see some other bits of the country.

Nearly finished this beer, would quite like another but for reasons noted above I will go - will have a few beers Thu/Fri/Sat evening if things work out to plan.

Right, booked the 6am tour. I have to be outside the hostel 15 mins before. So we're probably looking at getting up at 5:30. I'm sure it will be fine, I feel so tired it won't hurt to go to bed early and it rules out temptation to go out for beers tonight. Not that I yet have the transport situation resolved. Txirrinta is about five minutes walks tops from the hostel. I can't even see that you *could* get a taxi in the street outside; maybe it's different at night. I always read stuff about getting the bar to call you a taxi, perhaps it's just failure of imagination on my part but I can't see that happening. Maybe I'll do some web searching on that tonight. It's 1324 now and I've popped back to the hostel. I did feel a tiny bit drunk when I spoke to the tour agency but WTF.

Not really sure what I will do with the rest of the day. Probably try to buy some nuts to sustain me tomorrow if necessary, otherwise the only 'must do' is to get something to eat before it gets dark and I can't be on the streets. I guess I will wander and maybe withdraw a bit of cash and see how it goes.

Oh yeah, I noticed outside the tour agency this morning a photo (of, I think, some other tour) showing a young woman holding a massive black spider. I thought I did well just looking at the photo. But cross that bridge (running and screaming, no doubt) when I come to it. I appreciate the things may not be common even wherever that was but frankly I don't want some fucking guy coming round offering photo ops with one of those...

1400 Completely unable to connect with Spanish teacher on Whatsapp. Of course, because it functions by magic ('add the number to your contacts in your phone, then refresh the contacts list in whatsapp and they will magically appear if they are using whatsapp themselves') it is impossible to debug. I have given her my full internationalised phone number (both the regular number which I think is right, then the temporary number I have the SIM for in the phone now) and she can't find me. She gave me her number in local form and that doesn't work, and nor did it when I tried to internationalise it. So so much better than e-mail - being able to say to someone "my address is foo@bar.com" was just way too simple. I really fucking hate this smart-arsed shit, because when it *doesn't* work you're just fucked.

It occurs to me - as it did earlier - I could possibly have done the tour at 2pm this afternoon. It is sunny right now, don't know if it will last. But I had some vague idea it rains less in the morning. And by the time I got back it would be getting dark and then I'd be trapped at the hostel without being able to go out for dinner. Yes, I'm being a bit bitter because I'm feeling a little bit pissed off at the shitty, inconsistent advice. How the fuck am I meant to call a taxi? I'm a tourist, MY PHONE DOESN'T WORK. Surely this is normal? Mobile phone operators are a bunch of shitty chiselling shysters the world over, aren't they? Not to mention the linguistic issues with booking a taxi over the phone. No one actually seems to say it's not safe to take a taxi from the street, but I am not sure I have actually seen a taxi yet. A few tuktuks (which *someone* did say was maybe not safe) but not loads of them either. And the idea of calling a taxi to take me two minutes round the corner rankles, rationally or otherwise. Plus the idea it's safe to get into a random car just because it has a taxi number painted on the door (unless out-of-service taxis are securely melted down instead of being sold secondhand) whereas it's not safe to walk seems fucking insane.

I also feel a bit bored. What the fuck am I supposed to do this afternoon? I can't do anything I want because of fucking inconsistent safety advice.

One website says I can get a taxi at the central park. But that's (admittedly in the opposite direction) *further* to walk from eg that bar I was at this afternoon than my fucking hostel would be.

Can't help regretting signing up for the 6am thing given the weather seems so nice (verging on too fucking sunny) now. But then again I'd just have been milling around all morning waiting for the 2pm pickup, and it would have stopped me eg going to that bar at 6pm for the live music, if we assume for a moment there is in fact a solution to the transport home problem.

1534 At Travel Menu, ordered chicken curry and a diet coke. Authenticity be fucked. Just ordered in Spanish from a woman I am sure is actually American (she keeps talking to other people) but I am not going to crack first. Got a full fat coke instead of the diet I asked for but fuck it. I'm in a bad mood, I am hoping food will help. I tried to withdraw some more cash. One machine (tried yday too) just didnt work. Another was in a little alcove and some pseudo-homeless guy was calling mildly abusive terms ('estupido' was about the only one I caught) at me so I cancelled transaction without entering PIN. Another machine in a chemist took the card, I dithered too long over amount to withdraw and it timed me out. And then refused to recognise my card at all on multiple reinsertions. Just hope the fucker hasn't been cloned. Guidebook or some random source of half-baked shit advice on the web, I can't remember any more, implies credit cards might work better in ATMs here than debit cards. The problematic one is debit, but it did work at airport. I have both but would prefer to use debit for various reasons if I can.

Just meh to the whole fucking business. Lots of Beatles songs playing here. Sign says live music here, not sure when but FWIW.

Oh, there's ice in the coke. I think I was asked and I think I said to put it in. It's probably fine and I just don't want to be so fucking paranoid. It's in the fucking guide book, I'm sure the ice is sanitary.

I don't feel terrible or anything - apart from yawning - so it's not super obvious my bad mood is due to lack of food, and I don't feel particularly hungry, but I do need to eat today and it will be dark in a few hours etc.

1627 Back at hostel. Still not in a great mood TBH. Curry was OK though could have done with a bit more rice. 57 including pre-calculated tip, in London I would always pay the precise amount if they pre-calculate the tip but I didn't (perhaps because in London I'd be paying on card) so left 60. Not ridiculously expensive or anything but not ultra cheap either. Woman did say something to me in English or I did, so one or both of us cracked. I was vaguely tempted to ask her about the fucking night transport system but she didn't seem overly inclined to stick around and chat and I was a bit worried she'd think I was trying to chat her up.

Found another bank on way back and my card worked. Got 1000 out, partly to see if the fee would go up in proportion; I am not sure it did, but hard to tell. Then stopped into hole in the wall shop to get peanuts on the way back, MoS was chatting to mate at counter and I felt super awkward, I asked if they had any big packets of peanuts and I ended up paying 15 each for two 80g packets. This is actually fucking shite value, I though four and a bit quid for half a kilo in Tesco was pricey, but hey, I've got the fucking things now to shove in my bag to try to avoid being ripped off re food on the tour tomorrow. Of course I had a hundred quid in my pocket so didn't want to get my roll of notes out so I had to hand over a 100 note I pulled out blind; I couldn't check the fucking change and that pissed me off but the guy did give me the right change now I am back at hostel and could check. I suppose at that price he doesn't need to shortchange me.

For second time today someone just tried to come into my room but didn't react when I said 'hola' (and had gone when I opened door earlier today when it happened).

It's way too fucking early but I really don't feel in the mood to wander round the streets and it's a bit late to e.g. pop into some church or museum or something.

I'm just in a bad mood but I'm feeling a bit of a fucking prisoner, not being able to go out after dark. OK, last night I wanted to go to bed early and tonight I semi-want to (am still yawning intermittently though unless bad mood counts I don't feel actively tired) and semi-have to because I signed up for the 6am tour but it's still getting to me. And this is fucking Antigua! What the fuck's going to happen anywhere else?

I have to say that while I don't exactly fancy being mugged, I suspect it's relatively rare and if I just left my phone and camera back at the hostel I could possibly shrug off a mugging without too much pain. This feels a bit desperate, and I'd rather not be out without my phone - though since it can't make calls and I wouldn't really want to be stood in the street checking the map on it maybe it has no real value as such. Meh squared. Just gonna shut the fuck up, might go sit in the garden and read or something while it's still light. Need to remember to have a shower before I go to bed but will do that after dark.

1656 In hostel garden; wish I'd brought my fleece out and a bottle of water but not going back to room just yet. It's not cold, just cool. I note a sign by the kitchen hut saying a litre of Gallo for Q25. It's shut now, maybe that's only for breakfast. :-)

(No one else about. On the one hand I would like to scrape acquaintance with someone, on the other I'm hardly at my sparkling best right now.)

1855 Sunset was about 1745 according to phone, stayed in garden til maybe 1755 - it wasn't all that dark then but came in. Do wonder if I am the only person staying here, actually.

Anyway, in a rare burst of foresight, I just went to check at the front desk I would be able to get out for my tour. Usual woman not there but a chap there said if there was no one at the desk there would be someone in the garden cleaning up from 5 onwards who would be able to let me out. I am a tiny bit apprehensive about this - it's not sunrise til nearly 6am so surely no one is going to be in the garden - but WTF, done what I can and maybe I didn't quite understand - and as I wrote above "*if* there was no one at the desk..." so probably be fine. Worst case is I lose the Q60 I paid for the tour and sort of lose the day, though TBH I could always do a 2pm tour same day.

Need to think about onward travel in a day or two but can leave it for now I think. Not read up much but gut feeling is that I will leave Acatenango with its nominally desirable overnight camping until the end of the trip. I may or may not visit GC but I could easily imagine stopping here for a few days before going on to GC or to the airport and by that point I might be more acclimated. I dunno. On the other hand my last night in this hostel is Sun, I could conceivably leave on Mon for an overnight trip to Acatenango and then move on elsewhere on Tue. Am a bit nervous about the whole camping thing - especially given I am on my own, would they find some poor sod to share a tent with me, I suppose I could ask - but it's not necessarily ruled out. Certainly lots of the tour operators I saw said they supply tent and sleeping bag and I did bring my own sleep sack thingy so that's not necessarily too icky. Meh. Something to think about. I should read up on just how hard and how high it is. I've not had altitude sickness before as such but I was a bit short of breath in La Paz and so forth and maybe hiking is not such a good idea without being acclimatised. OTOH can it really be that hard? I read that young people are actually more likely to suffer from altitude sickness (and I have heard anecdotal evidence to back that up). I should probably just not even think about this kind of stuff and just do it.

Do find myself wondering if I should waste fresh clothes on the trip tomorrow morning, but I suppose in reality it's only an extra T-shirt and set of underwear and I don't know if the laundries will work weekends so I probably want to be taking some clothes in tomorrow afternoon anyway. All my stuff is 'wash at 30, no tumble dry' and I expected to be hand-washing it but I guess I'll just have to chance it; if it shrinks I'll just be fucked.

OK, just done quick Google. Actually found a thread which seemed semi-helpful re Acatenango. Incidentally some mention that some people struggle with Pacaya, but just have to see - that's so vague that you don't know if they're all massively overweight or unfit or something. Anyway, apparently 'most' people feel some altitude sickness on Acatenango trip, key thing is that your tour company doesn't camp at the peak but 3/4 way up and at least one person who seemed to know what they were talking about said they were glad they'd done a lot of hiking eg round Lake Atitlan first and suggested leaving Acatenango til the end of the trip. Or, perhaps, in my case, until I've been at relatively high altitude for 2-3 weeks (making these up) but am about to go somewhere lower for a while and don't want to lose my acclimatisation. I think if nothing else I want to see how Pacaya goes - I half wish I hadn't read some people struggle, but meh - and it's probably prudent to see what happens round Pana/Lake Atitlan and then maybe have a bit more of an informed decision. (Informed about my own capabilities, primarily.)

So Acatenango is ruled out for my current six day stint in Antigua, and now I can plan accordingly.

2051 In bed. Not necessarily going to sleep straight away, but as the mood takes me sort of thing. Feeling OK in general, no longer actively in a bad mood but also not high on life. OTOH I suppose all I've done since I got here is wander round a bit, recover from the flight and prepare to do more interesting stuff. Tomorrow should at least be more actively interesting. (Not that wandering round Iglesia de la Merced wasn't quietly fun, but not the same thing either. It didn't take all that long either, even reading the stories associated with the various statue-sculpturey things round the walls.)

Antigua, Tuesday

1509 Doing what I said I wouldn't and sitting in a cafe (Cafe de Las Mixtas) round corner from hostel and blogging. But it's OK, I'm just killing time before going to bed. Bit tired but not too bad.

Seems quite nice here, Q5 for black coffee and no pressure. Waitress said they have a terrace but it's drizzling so sitting just inside on ground floor. Lots of other places looked a bit fancy and had uniformed waiters etc, one even tried to entice me in from across the street.

Passed some sort of 'London' pub round corner (6 norte?) which might be worth a try if/when I fancy a few beers and try for a chat. Will focus my social and touristic energies on activities first though.

Had big struggle to get cash. Had to chat with one bank online but they had no trace of the failed withdrawal attempts so they say it's the ATM, even tho I tried several. But that's reassuring. I brought different card out and it worked in second ATM, so I have (slightly too much, til I go back to hostel) cash now, which is reassuring too.

But I am glad the ATM worked at the airport; it meant I could pay the hostel bill without any fuss, which takes the pressure off a bit.

Might eat here today or tomorrow, quick poke at menu suggests it is cheap and unpretentious. Especially given desire to get to bed early to make up for flights, I do hope to force myself up by 9ish to have the supposedly good hostel breakfast. That will be economical and keep the spend down and I just may get a chat on with someone as a bonus.

Snapped a few casual photos as went round. It is pretty pretty, and it's cool and weird to have these mist-capped mountains in front of you whichever way you turn on the grid streets. (I am sure it's not that regular, 4 mountains in the 4 directions, but it feels like that from my casual and geographically undirected peregrinations.

It is drizzling but it's OK really, while I think there's more of it, it's like those light London rains that don't really get you very wet very fast. Wearing non-waterproof fleece over a short-sleeved T-shirt and don't feel overly wet or cold or hot.

Music here is sort of ballady Spanish language stuff. It's OK, the language is clear and I can mostly understand, so this is helpful practice in a small way.

Music might be local radio statio Globo Antigua? Just worth checking out if it has a web stream perhaps.

Intermittently reading guide book on phone. This place is in there, it is Casa de las Mixtas. (They do actually have their entry photocopied on the wall, but it's too far off for me to read; however I assume it's same as text in my ebook.) I also see there's tandem paragliding in Panajachel; might be an insurance issue but worth considering.

1604 Slightly bored. Thinking of Ralph McTell's "Streets of London" : "each tea lasts an hour, then he wanders home alone". I've got through two cups in a bit under an hour; my lingering skills are decidedly subpar.

Aha! Data when roaming was disabled - a sensible default but not for the Go Roam case. So while I don't think phone calls work, I do now have mobile data. To be used with care but potentially useful, e.g. this should give me WhatsApp out and about to coordinate with Spanish teacher.

1641 Fourth and I think last coffee. Place shuts at 6 but I'm feeling a bit caffeinated and while I want to be kept awake til 9ish I don't want to overdo it.

1706 Back at hostel. Feeling jittery, I think it's the coffee but it still feels like a kind of nervous feeling. Meh. Q20 for four coffees, I made it Q30 as it seemed cheap and I got change for a 100 and I did loiter there for ages.

2048 Been Youtubing it up. In bed with phone, plan is to sort of try to drift off to sleep shortly. Not sure how well I will do getting up in time for breakfast but we'll have to see.

Guatemala City-Antigua

Tue 1219 (Guatemala) Got to the hostel maybe an hour or half an hour ago. Flights OK, got through customs OK - I had to press a button and got a green light, so wasn't checked. Arrivals bit of airport tiny and couldn't see cash machine. Lots of not-overly-threatening-but-I-had-my-bag-and-passport touts around. Asked someone respectable looking re ATM, got advice which in hindsight was helpful if incomplete. Failed to find it after trogging across the road outside into multi-storey carpark. Went back inside, despairing slightly. (I *think* I remembered if push comes to shove I had a few USD notes and some USD traveller's cheques which I could have changed for a doubtless shitty rate. But I still despaired.) Asked someone else, who told me to go into the slightly grim multi-storey car park opposite and go to level 3. That got me to the arrivals area. That plus a hint in the guide book that the ATM was hiding behind a staircase got me some cash. At that point I was able to pop into bog, get everything properly stashed away and feel a bit more comfortable.

A shoeshine guy semi-accosted me and took me over to a shuttle bus. I didn't have a coin to tip him and by this point I was super leery of everyone. They said they were waiting for more people before they went, so I said I'd keep my bag and pay when we were ready to go, so I couldn't be held (metaphorically only!) hostage. I was also a bit worried they'd just drive off with my bag. Probably excess paranoia but there you go. I waited maybe 30-60 mins and then an American couple turned up and we were ready to go. There was already an Australian woman I'd seen coming through security waiting in the van, not that I knew this before I got in. To be fair to minibus tour company people, they took payment from us all at that point, so I had probably been excessively paranoid.

Anyway, they dropped me practically opposite my hostel. The other three were going on to Pana(jachel?) and slightly awkwardly had a long conversation about an onward transfer 'across' me in the bus; since it was a conversation with a 'point' I didn't like to butt in, but I felt a bit uncomfortable.

(Incidentally, I could have just paid USD10 for the minibus. I should have thought to ask that. But it worked out OK in the end, I am not saying that's a great price and I'd like to save my USD for emergencies. Of course that could have been an emergency, in which case it would make sense to use it.)

Kept nodding off on the drive over.

First impressions of Antigua from the minibus as we drove through town are that it's pretty enough (but it's raining and low visibility so can't see the volcanoes properly) but super touristy. It's obviously not desert-y and it is perhaps a bit bigger, but the through-the-minibus-windows-impression was distinctly San Pedro de Atacama-ish. This isn't *bad* and I saw lots of old (even compared to me) tourists so it's not all twentysomethings.

I think the plan for today is just to wander out (rain permitting) and get a bit of a feel for the place, *not* book any tours, have some coffee to help keep awake (though I woke up once the bus got into Antigua) and go to bed earlyish. I'm continually looking round the room for spiders, which is massively counterproductive, but might as well be honest.

Plan for tomorrow is (if I get up early enough) to maybe have the free hostel breakfast (up to 10am), perhaps see if my Spanish teacher wants to meet up and once I know what's happening with her to perhaps look into signing up for a relatively undemanding hike up one of the adjacent volcanoes/mountains/whatever you hike up round here, though I could imagine the tour itself would probably be the day after, so Thursday. I'm not going to pressure myself to do more, we'll see how to goes. Hostel does its own tours (or offers certain agency tours) but be good to see if there are better options.

(Did see a sign offering a Q35 service to clean your boots after a hike. I am hoping this is a super luxury kind of service, not a suggestion that they're going to be in such a state this is an absolute requirement. If it turns out they are in a terrible state after a hike I may just have to find somewhere to buy a cheap pair of normal shoes so I can relegate the hiking shoe things which are my sole footwear to hiking only. But no need to worry about this in advance, I think.)

Not too hungry as ate all those fruit/nuts plus got a bit of food on second flight. The one *essential* thing today is to buy a bottle of water so I can a) clean my teeth b) have a drink in my room. I may eat something this afternoon if I find something OK looking, but TBH not sure I need it.

I could also do with some cash as paid nearly all I withdrew (got stiffed about 3% fee by the ATM at terminal but obviously couldn't help it) for the bus (Q80) and the hostel (Q680ishish plus 10% paid on credit card when I booked). I have enough cash to buy water though without going to a machine today.

I got offered three different rooms here at hostel, which was nice. One was a bit cell-like with no windows, another had a window but I went for the one with a skylight but no window as it looked a lot brighter. I can hear the rain pattering heavily-ish on it now. The weather app on my phone shows no rain so not sure I trust it.

Had a shower and will put clean clothes on to go out. Don't think will be able to do my own laundry in shared bathroom so will probably have to spring for laundry somewhere, will see what places I can see, and it's probably still cheaper than having a private bathroom.

Is that it for now? I think so. Oh, the Three Go Roam thing does seem to work for texts but I appear to be unable to make or receive phone calls, even though AFAIK this should work. Haven't tried from anywhere except my hostel room yet so maybe it will work if I end up connecting to a different network or something. Bit annoying but even if it doesn't work having text messages is worth something, since I can send and receive them without being on wifi.

Do wonder if I'll regret this skylight in terms of rain noise, but I suspect that aspect will be fine - it's not an unpleasant noise, we're not in monsoon-on-corrugated-iron territory...

London-Guatemala

Mon 20:26 Air side at Heathrow, just got through security. Bag was pushed into the 'manual inspection' channel, though so was just about everyone else's. All they did was use a sniffer machine on my bag of liquids. 

Filled up my empty water bottle at the drinking fountain; cheers MSE! Couldn't fill it completely as it wasn't a 'tap' but a squirty up thing, but still. Fingers crossed it doesn't leak. Squeezed as much air out of bottle as I could to reduce chances of air expanding and bursting it when cabin pressure lowers.

No real problems getting over here. Piccadilly train destination got changed from T4 to T1/2/3/5 so had to change at Hounslow West but wasn't pushed for time so no big deal. A few halts en route on Piccadilly were a touch worrying but again I wasn't too short on time. About an hour and a half to get to Heathrow, and I got here with a whisker under 3 hours til departure. So it's taken about an hour to get airside. I went over to the bag drop first to see if they wanted to do anything with my cabin bag but they didn't; a MoS was working the queue and although he took my passport off to scan it he didn't want to do anything else, so at least I didn't have to queue just to get to the counter to ask. TBH I could probably have not bothered and just gone through security but I had loads of time and thought it would set my mind at ease.

Apart from modest jitters at security am feeling pretty chilled out, almost surprisingly so.

Slightly disturbed to find GMail app is picking up new e-mails in the background even though I have background data restricted. In a way it's useful but I do wonder how much data this will burn; I'm on a tight-ish 1GB allowance on my Three PAYG SIM for the next 20-25 days. I don't plan on using it for anything other than e-mail but don't want to burn it all in case I find another need for it. Have set a hard 200MB usage limit so I shouldn't really worry unless/until that triggers early.

Very slightly tempted to go have a pint but (I haven't actually checked) I'm sure the price would be exhorbitant and I don't want to burn through my 14-unit-a-week alcohol budget unnecessarily even ignoring the money; I can probably have a beer on the plane for free, and I can have one with an enormous lunch tomorrow in Antigua if I feel like it.

Lingering doubts I've forgotten something but I probably haven't, and I have my passport and a credit card so it's not critical. I didn't re-pack today, I perhaps should have done but I felt I was more likely to accidentally leave something out than to discover anything missing.

2057 At gate 22. Managed to find a seat away from the burblings of BBC News 24. Not looking overly busy so far. Gate is a substantial hike from the main departure area, but perhaps because of that I did get a chance to snap a photo or two of our plane on the walk over.

While I could obviously have lingered over a pint, given the gate was called pretty soon after I wrote the previous bit and I'd have been unable to relax for wanting to neck it and get to the gate, I think it was a smart move not to have one.

Topping up phone with powerbank while I wait. There are limited mains charging facilities at the gate, which is nice, but I'm not going to fight for access to them. I could probably top up on the plane but I figure if I do it now I can probably avoid needing to do so in case it turns out to be prohibited for some reason. Only down to 80% but might as well top up while I can.

2156 Got battery up to 96%. On board. Looks like middle seat is free, into the lining! Flight seems reasonably full in general. Feeling OK actually. Was a bit worried my bag wouldn't physically fit into overhead locker but of course it did. This is a 787-8 FWIW, I just read the safety card because I'm conscientious and haven't flown for 4.5 years. Will switch to Mexico City time now, I don't want to go to Guatemala time lest it cause me to miss my connecting flight somehow.

Actually I won't. Phone in theory will adjust automatically so let's see if that works. I'll put my watch forward in a bit as a compromise.

0105 Just watched Three billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri. Not entirely sure if I liked it or not, but sort of interesting. The airline had dubbed all the swear words out which grated a bit; it wasn't quite at the "melon farmer" level but perhaps approaching it.

Had a Corona and a small but tolerable portion of chicken in red thai sauce with mashed potatoes, oh, and a small chunk of bread and some chocolate.

Miscellaneous bodily pains but presumably just from sitting. Feeling OK, is a bit weird to look at the online map and think that I'm 30000 ft above the middle of the north Atlantic, but it"s not like I'm freaking out about it. Greenland is practically a solid lump of white on the onscreen map, I assume this is an artefact of the map rather than any kind of reflection on its actual terrain. But I should check when I have internet access again. Flight has wifi but AFAIK it's not free and I'm not that bothered.

Feeling a tiny bit tired, which I guess is not too surprising given the time back in the UK. Jet lag advice I read is to try to switch to destination time as soon as you leave, but since we land at 4am destination time I doubt I'll get much sleep following that plan to the letter.

Not sure if I want to try to sleep or not. I think I'll try another - lighter - film and accept I may fall asleep during it. Ultimately it's OK, I can sleep as much as I want once I get to Antigua.

0754 It's freezing. I exaggerate, a bit, but did manage to sleep/doze - hard to say how much - although I had to crack out the supplied blanket despite having my fleece on and zipping it up. Had blanket over head and not tucked inside the seatbelt. A few fasten seatbelt warnings but no one made a fuss and I didn't notice anything scary in the turbulence line. Just had breakfast (bit of fruit salad, scrambled eggs, mini muffin and some unrecognisable thing - a sausage?? in sauce which I left), we have 1h 50 to go ish and I hope to snooze some more [pause for refreshment] after coffee and orange juice. Maybe it's the food/drink but I feel a bit livelier now, though will probably still try to snooze.

Fitful thoughts - I am not sure they were dreams, they were more in the 'sitting back in seat with blanket over head and eyes closed waiting to go to sleep' - of spiders and having to go through immigration in GC and maybe having my fruit and nuts confiscated in transit in MC and having to guzzle some before security in MC and the eternal conundrum of 'keep passport in my security belt and risk mugging vs leave it in hostel and risk theft' for the wbole trip - but nothing too actively agonising. TBH the most vivid thoughts were of finally (FFS, it's only been one day) having a proper bed and a proper sleep.

Watched 2017 Murder on Orient Express before trying to sleep - was feeling tired towards end but did watch whole thing. I found it a bit melodramatic, especially at the start, and the Poirot a bit action hero/superstar-ish (the scene at what I assume was the Wailing Wall at the start seemed massively OTT; I have read the book - so knew the twist - but it was ages ago and I find it hard to believe that was in the book) but it did grow on me somewhat; certainly OK overall. (I still prefer David Suchet's Poirot; call me a pleb if you will.)

During pre-dreams did find myself thinking a) I can't afford to waste a whole day 'recovering' from the flight, I need to crack on and not get 'stuck' in Antigua b) that is exactly the kind of thing I need to fight against in the name of relaxing and not running round like a blue-arsed fly (a phrase I really must look up the origin on  BTW), I have 10 weeks and fun/interesting stuff can pop up anywhere, I don't need to push myself to save a day right at the start.

It will be about 4am in MC when we land. I hope it's not too grim. Haven"t used phone much on plane but battery is at 86% which isn't too shabby.

-56C outside. Must be at least 10C in here. :-) I do still feel cold but not as much as earlier. We're over the Gulf of Mexico, south-east-ish of Houston. No transit at George Bush International for me today anyway. :-)

0451 (Mexico) Phone has auto adjusted timezone, Three don't offer Go Roam here so have disabled mobile data and I hope I can't accidentally incur charges as I have no credit balance, just an add-on which I think will only work in UK and Go Roam countries.

Got through immigration and security OK. Bit stressful as always, security woman rather unsmiling but no quibbles with my bag here. I asked at the food products desk about my fruit and nuts, guy said they were fine (though I had nothing in writing). Had to chug my water before security so nothing to drink with them but hey, not too bad.

Thought it was pissing it down when we were on the plane waiting to disembark but it didn't look like it when we actually did disembark, no idea if I imagined it or it stopped and I didn't see any dampness on tarmac as it was dark. Was air bridge not bus anyway so not a big deal.

FWIW my hidden belt pouch thing seems to go through security scanners fine while I'm wearing it, although if it matters it never had my passport in.

Am in the bit with shops and signs for gates. A sign says free wifi but it doesn't tell you the name of the network or any password. My phone shows a billion wifi networks but of the passwordless ones I've tried I either get no internet or it just seems to not even bother to connect and shows them as 'Saved', which makes no sense. Wifi selector on phone pretty much unusable as it keeps refreshing the list (either reordering it or blanking it for a complete rescan) as I'm trying to use it. I don't *need* wifi but it's annoying to have this tantalising hint of connectivity then be thwarted.

Not overly hungry now and am thinking will crack the nuts open later; they're not salted but that way if they make me thirsty I will be closer to getting a drink on the next flight.

Feeling OK, a little bit tired but not too bad. Didn't enjoy the immigration/customs/security experience but to be fair except for some slightly unsmiling personnel and the fact I'm doing it in a foreign language it wasn't worse than usual.

Minor confusion as guy checking boarding passes at the entrance to the transit stairway evidently - in hindsight - interpreted airport code GUA as Guadalajara and asked me if I was going there. I dithered a bit and he repeated himself then I twigged and told him I was going to Guatemala and it was fine. My flight isn't on the screens yet but not too surprising. There is a flight to Miami which gives me confidence this isn't a domestic-only section or something.

0528 Been topping up phone (very slowly) at a free charging point here, but it's making me jittery I'm going to walk off without it or someone will steal it from under my nose, so am copying the idea of someone next to me and topping up my power bank instead - this is one reason I bought it (though thinking hostels more than airports) - it's less valuable, a less tempting target for theft and I can probably replace it easily if it does disappear, whereas I won't be able to buy a keyboard if I lose the Priv.

I think when we were at Heathrow the captain said (in the Spanish version of his spiel only) that the plane had been made in Mexico. I was/am a bit disconcerted at not being able to understand all the various announcements (eg at the gate) but to be fair I just need to practice and some of the announcements weren't so clear even in English.

0643 At gate 64; can't see a screen from my seat but I think this is my gate. Boarding not til 0725 anyway. Think powerbank got charged fully so left the charging area to come find my gate, taking advantage to visit bog en route. Had load of fruit/nuts while charging phone; could have shovelled more in but I was probably overdoing it, I certainly don't feel hungry and if I do have to discard the rest of the packet on landing I've at least had value from it.

Feeling a bit meh. Not really deeply worried, though until I came to the gate I was a bit edgy about having got confused and missing the flight. It is very mildly exotic to be here at MC airport, but only very mildly. I don't seriously doubt my ability to navigate immigration, customs and getting a shuttle bus to Antigua, but they feel a bit like unpleasant chores instead of excitingly adventurous. To be fair I think what's playing on my mind is really the concern that I will lose something or have it stolen. This always exists abroad but a) I haven't had time to get used to this feeling yet b) I am extra on edge because the consequences of losing something while flying seem worse c) once I have accommodation, I can at least subdivide my posessions to reduce the risk of losing everything.

Will see if I can top phone up from powerbank while I sit here.

0752 On plane. Some chance of no one in middle seat. 737-800. Been yawning a bit in the terminal, further proof I guess I didn't get a huge amount of sleep.

Need to ask someone about 'buen dia' vs 'buenos dias' - is there a difference? is one wrong? See, already I am learning things. :-)

Felt a bit cold coming on to plane. It's daylight now and I think outside temp is about 16C so bit surprising. Feel OK now, probably just tiredness.

1021 Through immigration and customs. Will try to send this now...

Guatemala preparation, part 5

Fri 13:20 Back in London after a few days visiting parents. While attempting to confirm my flight bookings, I found many scary reviews of and negative comments on Opodo - I could swear I checked this out before I booked my flights through them and they seemed to get mostly OK reviews. Who knows? I am taking some comfort from the fact that Aeromexico's own site accepts my booking reference, so with any luck I am now largely independent of Opodo and it doesn't matter if they are good or not. (My recollection is that when I looked before booking the flight, they had huge numbers of reviews on the sites I looked at, and about 20% of them were really negative, but the other booking site I was looking at had a relative handful of reviews and maybe the same proportion of negatives. There are always going to be some people who are just massively unhappy for no "good" reason - I seem to recall seeing lots of whinging about being charged fees to make changes to tickets, and while I agree the whole process is unpleasant and chiselling, it is something you kind of expect before you start and I doubt anywhere offering budget fares is significantly different.) I'll have to look into this more carefully before any future booking, but fingers crossed I am OK this time anyway.

Going to walk over to town and back to do a tiny bit of extra shopping, though I do have almost everything I need already.

17:40 Actually quite enjoyed the walk today; my feet hurt a bit but not too much. I think what really helped is the feeling that I wasn't under pressure to buy loads of crap; I wanted to get a few bits and pieces but they weren't essential. I did actually manage to get a long-sleeved non-cotton T-shirt in the Tottenham Court Road branch of Mountain Warehouse, so that was a bonus.

Sat 00:10 DIcking around trying to get stuff together to pack. I've dug out my motley collection of SD cards and I'm trying to see if they still work etc. LIke the anal-retentive idiot I am, I left loads of old photos on some of them - presumably on the grounds that "it's an extra copy if I suddenly realise I made a mistake and wiped some other copy" while I was sorting things out after the last trip. Of course, this means that despite being 95% certain I have all these photos safely filed away on my main PC (and backed up along with all my other data), I now have to copy the files off and leave them on my PC's hard drive to check they are duplicates before I delete them. Assuming, of course, I ever get round to doing that. This isn't a seriously problem in terms of packing, but it is a problem in terms of having created unnecessary work for myself later on.

Having heard that you don't get a free plastic bag for the onerous and wanky liquids check at security any more, I've dug one out and just about got my liquids into it. (I'd have liked to use a nice freezer bag with a decent-ish plastic zip on, but I only had one which was too small to get everything in and one which was slightly over the maximum permitted size of 20cmx20cm, and I don't want to give some jobsworth fuckwit any unnecessary excuse to screw me over.) The bag of liquids weighs 600g. I really should look into some of the non-liquid alternatives at some point - this being mainly about weight reduction, but having the added advantage of minimising security shit with liquids. I'm not taking insane quantities of anything here; I could buy a micro-sized tube of toothpaste but unless I'm actually going to be squeaking up against the hand luggage limit for the flight there's no major point doing that kind of thing, because I care more about the weight when I'm lugging the bag round the country, not on the flight, and I'm not going to keep buying micro-sized toothpaste once I get there so I'd be lugging round a full-sized tube anyway. And similarly for other items, not just toothpaste.

While I'm rambling, I picked up a pretty ragged paperback copy of Dorothy Sayers' "Strong Poison" at a charity shop to take with me. I've read it before - though I don't remember it very well - and the plan is that this will seem sufficiently un-valuable that I'll be willing to swap it if I get a chance to do so. Most of my reading will be on my phone or my Nook e-reader, but I like to have at least one physical book - ideally a smallish one, as this one is - for situations where I can't use an electronic device or they're running low on power.

The Nook weighs 200g and I find myself wondering if I shouldn't take it, but unless I'm really tight on weight I probably will. While I'd be pissed off to lose it, it's much less valuable than my phone (I also only ever use it on holiday, so if I lose it on holiday I lost it "doing what it was purchased to do", so to speak) and I can imagine feeling a bit less vulnerable "showing it off" if I want to sit and read somewhere public (e.g. a bus). Unless it has degraded enormously through age and/or lack of use, the battery is also pretty long-lasting and the main thing is that it avoids running my phone battery down "just" so I can read.

Sat 1215 Pretty grey, grim looking morning. Still intend to trog over to Decathlon for some final supplies. I really also need to pick up a small souvenir of London - a keyring or something - as a gift for my Spanish teacher, who I will probably meet in the flesh - but I will probably worry about that tomorrow unless I happen to spot something en route to Decathlon.

With this slightly grim weather, I might as well make a note of something I hope to bear in mind during the trip. I have moments - I suspect I'm not unique in this - when things start to look pretty shitty. For example, I might wake up on Monday morning and think "Fuck, I have to fly tonight. I'm terrified. This is going to be a fucking disaster." The key point to remember when this happens is:

"your feelings are not facts!... If your perceptions make no sense, the feelings they create will be as absurd as the images reflected in the trick mirrors at an amusement park. But these abnormal emotions feel just as valid and realistic as the genuine feelings created by undistorted thoughts, so you automatically attribute truth to them.

...

Unpleasant feelings merely indicate that you are thinking something negative and believing it. Your emotions follow your thoughts just as surely as baby ducks follow their mother. But the fact that the baby ducks follow faithfully along doesn't prove that the mother knows where she is going!"

(David D Burns, Feeling Good)

Changing topic completely, I am totally unable to find a headphone adapter for those weird two-pin headphone sockets you (still?) occasionally find on planes. I am pretty sure I had one with my last set of headphones (which have now broken), but I can't find the adapter anywhere. I am not ripping the entire flat apart looking for this - I suspect it fell out of the headphone drawstring bag into my pocket and then into the street at some point over the last few years - and I'll just have to hope the flight doesn't have sockets like that. I am annoyed all the same.

Weather forecast is to piss it down all day. Yay!

19:30 So I walked over to Decathlon and back. It was raining pretty much the whole time, but it wasn't too bad and I got the tiny item I was after. I also just cut my hair; I really wasn't in the mood to do it, it always feels like a massive chore, but it needed doing and now it's over with. Next time I have it done will be a linguistic challenge at a small barber's somewhere in Guatemala. :-)

I need to pack tonight and check I've got everything I need. I could feel a minor temptation to buy more shit in Decathlon - not that there was anything I actually needed, but I think it felt a bit like it might constitute being better prepared and help set my mind at ease. I resisted, however; I have my packing list, I know what I need, and since Decathlon weren't selling confidence-in-a-tube there was no need to buy anything else.

21:00 Continuing to intermittently test my SD card collection. They seem to mostly work; some of them sometimes appear not to, but after enough inserting and removing they then seem to work after all. This makes me a bit edgy but I tend to keep so many different copies of photos when I'm away the chances of losing anything to a single card failure are slim, and while it would be galling to lose a load of photos it's not the end of the world.

It seems hard to be sure, but half the time I suspect the problem is that some of the micro-to-full-size SD card adapters are a bit dodgy (or at least loose).

Sat 00:05 Probably already said this, but I do need to strive not to run around like a blue-arsed fly this trip. Take it easy, don't put pressure on myself. Have fucking lunch even if I got up late; it's supposed to be fun! I'm not going to regret not visiting the cheese museum in Quetzalteopan on my deathbed. (Maybe if I spend several days doing "nothing", I need to have a word with myself. But I need to keep the pressure off otherwise.) I also need to try to resist the temptation to read books/write blog posts on my phone when I'm out and about, partly from a theft deterrent perspective and partly so that I am in with a chance of getting into conversation with people. Need to acknowledge that, yes, I am interested in striking up a conversation rather than deliberately occupying myself with the phone to avoid sitting there feeling like a loser.

Since I'm just waffling, I did read something the other day - can't remember where - which struck a chord. The gist being that people like Cortez and Magellan had genuine reason to be feel nervous before setting out, whereas I don't. There's a well-developed tourist infrastructure where I'm going, fuck, I even more-or-less speak the language. I think the thing is that intellectually I know this, but emotions take no cognisance of these subtleties. (I also know that I would be a bit nervous anyway, but the vaguely scary warnings on the various government travel advice websites are lurking around in my brain and making things a lot worse. Not that I'm too edgy right now, to be honest.)

Sun 16:35 Thanks, Opodo! They've sent me an e-mail saying (and I quote) "Check in before it closes! There's only a few hours left to check in for your flight". Sudden panic, that a) I've missed this b) I will get stuck with a shit seat because I didn't check in ASAP. But no, I just went to the Aeromexico web site and tried to do the check in and it says the check-in window will open in 6 hours, exactly as I'd expect. I assume this is Opodo touting - very confusingly - their own app which will check you in automatically. I am not touching this because I can't find any reviews of it and I suspect it will irrevocably go and check me in and pick a terrible seat without my involvement. Even if there are only terrible seats left when I come to check in myself, at least I'll be able to see for myself instead of having a lingering doubt that I got screwed over by the app.

18:20 So I've finished packing. Except for the billion SD cards which I'm still testing and dithering over. According to my luggage scale - a ridiculous thing to own, given how little I use it, but it was a present - my bag weighs 7.1kg. Numerically this is a pretty decent result; it may in practice be a smidge heavier in day-to-day use as it will have my fleece in and a bottle of water, but I'll wear the fleece to the airport and of course I can't carry the water through because it's a security risk (FFS), so this is the number which will count for being allowed to take the bag as a carry-on. It does feel a little heavier than I'd have liked; I didn't think I was in that bad a shape, maybe I'm not. I can't say this is really ridiculously heavy or anything.

Poking around some old blog entries, assuming I am trusting those luggage scales, my bag weighed 7.3kg (with the daypack - containing the netbook and a few bits and bobs - removed) at Kiev airport in 2013. So I do seem to be doing fairly well, and it does look like I have "saved" the weight of the netbook by not taking it, despite the extra lightweight shell garments I'm having to take this time, since the no-netbook bag now weighs a bit less than the no-netbook bag in Kiev in 2013.

19:05 The brain's a funny thing, eh? I just popped out to Tesco to get a few bits and pieces and walking out of the flat and seeing it was dark and then being in Tesco with the Sunday evening idiots blocking the aisles, I thought "fuck, I'm going tomorrow" and felt a bit pre-homesick.

I bought a 500g bag of dried fruit and nuts to shove in my bag - so there's a chunk of extra weight already. I suspect I'll have to discard those if I haven't eaten them in either Mexico City (where I transit) or Guatemala, but this way I have something to eat if the airline meals are inedible or insubstantial. Barring accidents I have a three hour wait in Mexico City and I really don't want to be buying food in the terminal as a) it's likely to be super-expensive b) I don't want to use my credit card for fear of it being cloned or blocked (this happened to me after using my card at Heathrow in 2006 and I've never got over it...) c) I don't want to withdraw pesos from a cash machine and be stuck with them for months or years just to buy a bit of food. I will probably compromise on those points if I have to, but that's the plan.

I wanted to get a small packet of hard mints to keep in my pocket but my local Tesco couldn't do any better than soft mints or Werther's Original. I'll perhaps pop over to another shop tomorrow; I don't want to be doing too much tomorrow, but I'll probably go nuts if I'm just hanging around waiting to leave all day and if I fail to buy any it's not the end of the world.

22:41 Whew! Checked in online, I got an aisle seat on both flights. I feel amazingly better for this, much more than I expected. FWIW there was no shortage of aisle (or window, for that matter, had I wanted one) seats, but obviously some flights will be different. I was sitting there hitting the refresh button on the web checkin page every minute as the checkin window approach. :-)

In a superstitious touch, I got a seat in a row which I consider a "lucky" number, and I also picked (because there was no real reason to prefer one over another which I could see) exactly the same seat number on both the two flights.

I did look on seatguru.com for the longer of the two flights, although the no-extra-charge good seats at the back had already gone and it didn't otherwise help, but I guess no real harm in looking.

22:59 Have also just sneaked out to deposit the contents of my kitchen bin in a public litter bin; I won't be here on the regular collection day and I don't want this stuff in the flat while I'm away. Just hope I wasn't caught on CCTV and there's no identifying material in the bag; I'm sure the council are red hot on inappropriate use of public facilities in this way.

Mon 01:24 Been tidying up some of the not-packed junk from the floor and so forth. Might have a bath now and then go to bed. Plan is to try to get up earlyish tomorrow for no ultra obvious reason; I do hope to do a tiny bit of shopping (e.g. for mints) but not a big deal, and I want to cook for myself tomorrow too. Probably need to leave the flat about 6pm. I've had a very quick check of the F&CO travel advice for Guatemala; I didn't re-read it all (no point shitting myself up unnecessarily), the key thing is that the advice has not been updated since 7th September so there's no new information to take into account.

Been accumulating this for ages which is probably a bad habit as the draft could get lost, so let me send it now anyway.