Santa Marta, Tuesday

Mon 2330 In bed but a PS to today's entry. I'm fucking sick of second-guessing myself. Stupid analogy time. If I sign up for a marathon, I'd probably train for it beforehand. But even if I didn't, I'd start and I'd succeed or I'd fail. I might be galled or embarrassed or whatever at failing, but ultimately no big deal. And a marathon is "difficult" to most people; even people who *do* them don't take them lightly, I think. But I seem to be constantly confronting borderline "challenging" things (Ciudad Perdida trip, or more significantly this four day hike) which "normal" people can apparently do at the drop of a hat with a bit of effort, and I'm continually questioning whether *I'm* up to them, but unlike the marathon they seem to be things where failure is more serious/painful. (eg what if I were in the position of that guy screaming in agony midway through the CP hike, or more plausibly I'm two days into the four day trip I'm contemplating and perhaps in the middle of nowhere and totally freak out about a spider or something else I haven't forseen - I can't just give up there and then because I'm on this hike in the middle of nowhere.) Meh. I do wonder if "normal" people ever worry about these things or they just go for it, YOLO, etc, and maybe a few of them come unstuck and suffer but for most it's all just a laugh because nothing does go wrong. Probably (I'd hope) they do have some self-doubt, but fuck knows. Anyway.

On a totally different note, the moon (first or last quarter, can't tell which) was virtually overhead last night and tonight, which is quietly exotic/tropical. Took a picture (which didn't come out very well) with camera flat on table of it last night from hostel terrace around sunset. Wifi/internet continues to be extremely weak; maybe it's perpetually like this, though it seemed OK when I first got here.

2347 As trying to fall asleep was looking at some of my photos on phone and thinking "it looks really nice there, I'm jealous, wish I was there" , but of course I *am* there - it's just that I'm looking at the photos in a less edgy mood than when I am taking them. Still, makes me feel a bit like Gordon Way having brief jealous feelings towards his own Mercedes in Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.

And on another random note, almost every time I think about getting mugged I get "Down In The Tube Station At Midnight" playing in my head.

Tue 1859 On roof terrace with a bottle of water. Not going out tonight, was a bit hungover (I think mainly dehydration, since I seem to be dehydrated *anyway* it's probably a bad starting point - I am drinking water, but with relatively limited supplies on hand it's hard to drink enough all the time) after last night and not good to have six or so every night. May have one or two here depending how I feel.

Not a bad day, perhaps a bit wasted, perhaps not. Hostel seems a bit livelier, I went down to reception to ask about breakfast since I assumed no staff would be up here and they just told me to come up here and there were one or two smallish groups of other guests having breakfast. Got my breakfast C, very nice.

Went out, checked that tour agency and was shut, so went on to Museo del Oro Tairona - Casa de la Aduana. Free entry, surprisingly good - intermittent aircon very welcome, quite busy (overheard one idiot mouthing off in English about how "they (the Spanish??) should give the gold back" but in any case "the Chinese were taking over" so it didn't matter, or something along those lines), exhibits modest but quite interesting. Didn't take many photos as wasn't sure if was allowed. Simon Bolivar exhibit upstairs, I think he died in that house (and incidentally I did see the place in cathedral yesterday where he was buried for 8-ish years before being taken to Caracas). While viewing it a chap said to me something like "un tiempo historico" and I said "si, si. es muy interesante" . Look at me, mixing with the locals!

Anyway, came back via Justo y Bueno (surprisingly small and a bit empty feeling) supermarket near hostel and got some food (having asked at reception after breakfast if I could use the kitchen, and having checked the supplies - it had everything I could expect in terms of salt and basic pans, and as expected I couldn't find a tin opener so knew to buy no cans without ring pulls). Choice wasn't huge and I didn't want to buy bulk and be lugging a lot of food round; to that end I got a small bag of rice with golden strands of pasta in instead of plain rice. Got a tin of grated tuna in vegetable oil, big tin of frijoles negros, modest tin of peas and intermediate tin of sweetcorn and 3l bottle of water. Bill wasn't itemised and came in a smidge higher than I expected at 15kish but it's tolerable, paid on credit card. Someone else was using kitchen when got back but I could keep an eye on kitchen from balcony outside room and he finished almost immediately, so I went down and was left unmolested to cook and eat. Portion was frankly a bit huge and a bit dull (lacking the spices and range of veg I might have at home, or here given more willingness to bulk buy etc if I were settled in one place for longer as I was in Xela) but it was OK and it's got some vegetables down me; I have seen some street fruit sellers with bananas and will probably try to buy some fruit off them tomorrow but don't intend to cook for myself tomorrow. I have some rice left but I've tied it in a plastic bag and will take it away with me, I may get an opportunity to cook for myself elsewhere.

I was feeling super sweaty while eating despite it being in shade. I went up and bathroom next to my room was locked - probably just for some cleaning-ish reason, as had been told on checkin I could open it with key and I did that an hour or two later (checking carefully no one was in there) - so I killed two birds with one stone by taking trunks and shower bag down to shared bathroom near the pool, showered and then emerged in trunks to use the pool.

As I was about to get in a MoS came up to me - so I felt a bit awkward - but he was just reminding me about the beach volleyball at 4pm today, which someone had told me about when I asked about breakfast this morning. Both times I said truthfully I couldn't play volleyball - it would be nice to "join in" and maybe meet people, but it's a simple fact that I *can't* play volleyball (I mean, I can't *really* play football, but I am at a pinch capable of kicking a ball about a bit, my inability to play volleyball is much greater) so this wasn't diffidence or whatever on my part.

Anyway, I did use the pool and had it to myself. Felt quite cold at first but in a good way, refreshing though not that much more so than having a shower. Maybe stayed in five mins, a bit dull really (and it's small and you're not meant to swim in it so beyond practicing a tiny bit of legs-only backstroke I didn't) but with both that and cooking in the kitchen I've faced down a couple of minor personal demons as manifested in yesterday's entry.

I asked about a Spanish lesson but it didn't pan out again.

Oh, I missed something - after gold museum I deliberately went past the tour agency and it was open. Luckily the chaps sitting outside the agency I already spoke to didn't spot me going in or out. :-)

Bloke and a woman in there, initially a bit stand-offish I thought, but I got chatting to them about Cerro Kennedy. They could have done me tomorrow but I said that was a bit soon. They do 2 and 3 day tours, but (not unreasonably, and I wouldn't want it anyway) they don't want to take me solo, they had a private group one day so I couldn't join that, so in the end they said they have a 2 day tour on 9th (and 10th, obviously) I could join and they already have two people on it.

I asked about spiders, guy said there would be spiders, it was the mountains, but I kind of probed further and the picture I got was roughly consistent with what the other guide had told me - you might well see some, you'd have to be very unlucky to have one land on your or something like that (I said, and I do appreciate, there can't be any guarantees or anything). I asked this guy about size - which I didn't the other guide - and while he may be anti-exaggerating for effect, I got the impression from him we're talking small-ish, vaguely UK-sized spiders, which isn't *great* but I'm unlikely to feel like I'm in a Z-list version of I'm A Celebrity...

He seemed very mildly reproachful I hadn't gone in yesterday as he had been waiting, but nothing major, and as I told him I *had* gone back twice.

I'm torn. I do kind of want to do the four day tour. It feels a bit more of a challenge/"big ticket item", perhaps even a sort of stepping stone to maybe doing the CP trip in a year or two. In some ways the 4 day tour on 12th also fits better with popping over to Taganga for a few days, whereas the 2 day tour on 9th hardly gives me time so I'd be kicking my heels here in Santa Marta and I'm not sure I have the confidence yet to eg go on a local bus out to that hacienda with the Simon Bolivar connection so while it's nice enough it might not be a super productive use of my time.

Gut feeling is I want to take a punt on the four day tour. I didn't exactly get a bad vibe from that tour agency, and while on the one hand it looks a little "desperate" they are sitting out front touting for business on the other hand they're clearly making an effort. Reviews are generally thin on the ground, for CP you can't move for info on the web but info on anything else is much harder to come by.

I don't know if I'll like Taganga but I do want to go if only for a few days so I was going to go anyway and thus going to fill time before 4 day trip on 12th doesn't really constitute a major problem.

To be fair the 2 day trip is kind of what I had originally envisaged when I set out looking for this, but at the same time I'd feel a bit more like I've achieved something in the "taking advantage of this opportunity to travel" line if I do the 4 day trip, and it would just be stretching my comfort zone that little bit further.

I need to be making decisions soonish and I only have two more nights accom booked here and if I am going to Taganga I need to be booking accom and transfer (though I suspect the transfer is not a huge deal; hostel may arrange it and if not Marsol terminal isn't far and I suspect they will do it).

I might go get a beer down at reception and come back up here and mull. There's another (probably) English guy up here; we spoke briefly as he asked me for the wifi password but he's watching football on his phone AFAICT.

1936 Got a beer; asked for cheapest and told Costeñita at 3k, so got that, then realised it's 175ml. Never mind, will maybe get an Aguila next time. Have to clamp it betwen legs for fear a gust will blow it over on table.

I'm going to steel myself to go poke at accommodation in Taganga and see if that influences my thoughts.

Hostelworld seems to suggest 65k/night for a private is low-ish but not absolute bottom end (one unrated placed was at 40k), and I'm provisonally looking check in 6th, out 10th so 4 nights. That's about fifteen quid a night, which if memory serves is about what I'm paying here and while not the absolute bargain I'd hoped for is borderline acceptable. (Not saying I won't do some dormitories at some point to keep cost down or just to prove to myself I can still handle it, but really not in the mood for that right now.)

booking.com similar though some guest houses with private rooms at the level of £35-40 for all four nights. I would sort of like to be able to go to the bar of some busyish hostel (I don't need to be staying there) and I don't know how location/owner's attitude to getting back late-ish at night might work out with one of those. (I mean, I'm not a beach person and given I'm still learning to swim diving is definitely not for me yet. So I'm going because it sounds like it might be a vaguely fun sort of place with a lively atmosphere at night and I may be able to get chatting to someone and if not at least enjoy the atmosphere, so I don't want to find myself in accom which means I daren't stay out late or which I can't reliably *get* into late at night.

But there are options. I kind of need to decide what I want to do and then speak (if only via net) with the relevant tour agency to get some confirmation before I book. I hope not to completely lose the day to it, but if I spend significant time tomorrow sorting out arrangements that's fine. I'm not starting a conversation with either tour agency at this time of night even had I decided already. TBH I am 90% certain I'm going with the 4 day tour on 12th, but I'm a bit uneasy about it.

Oh, got an e-mail from Bó (bank) earlier, due to new regulations they're sending me a new bank card and - I got in touch to ask - my old one will stop working mid-March, nothing they can do, sorry. I hope this is just a case of them having failed to plan adequately for new regulations, rather than a new regulation being introduced with no warning, as if all my other banks start doing the same I'm going to be fucked. As it is the Bó card becomes a bit less valuable since I know it's going to become inoperable, so I may start preferring it for cash withdrawals - then if it does get stolen as I'm taking it with me to/from the cash machine, I've lost a card which wasn't going to survive the entire trip anyway. Not very impressed with this - bear in mind I only opened the account a few months ago, so this isn't exactly an "old" card - but still, shows the value in having multiple cards from multiple banks with me.

It's my only Visa debit card so this is a minor loss anyway, although so far (unlike Argentina, where having a Visa debit card would have been handy because some places wouldn't take anything else, except cash) it doesn't seem this is such a big deal in Colombia.

2142 Did sneaky bit of laundry in shared-but-in-practice-private bathroom - I wouldn't be averse to getting some "proper" laundry done, but given I may be leaving morning of day after tomorrow I don't want to risk my clothes not coming back in time. I screwed the cap on the travel detergent tube not particularly hard and the thread part of the cap parted company with the actual lid. (Oddly, this happened to a different brand but identical thread size tube while I was faffing around "topping up" old and new tubes back in London, so perhaps a weak point.) By sheer luck the cap of one of my nearly-empty sample sized toothpaste tubes seems to fit - possibly it won't be as good a seal, but it's better than nothing.

Incidentally (no relation to prev paragraph) since arriving in Cartagena I have been working on a system of changing my clothes once a day as I normally would but making the changover point "getting home in the evening before showering and going back out (if I am going out)" instead of "first thing in the morning", on the basis I do the bulk of my sweating during the day.

2339 Bed, I think. Just been watching a bit of YT, the internet seems to be working better.

Not feeling too bad but a bit dissatisfied wrt ongoing plans. I think I should probably in theory just sign up for this 4 day thing and not worry about it, it's not like anyone is touting it as "extreme" in any way, it's not that different from eg the Xela-Atitlan hike, just an extra day. It's not like there's some way I can really know in advance if it's a good idea or not; it's not "clearly a terrible idea" at least. I don't know. I'll sleep on it again and have to come to a decision after breakfast tomorrow.