Tamarindo, Sunday/Monday

Sun 19th 1155 Sitting in kitchen area. Another guy here on his laptop, handful of people dotted round. From chat in dorm this morning (earwigging) seems to be a largish group of US/European girls who have all got together, they were saying it's too windy to go to beach or something.

Woke up 1amish busting for piss, got out no problem (vague "what if the dog has a fit" concerns but it wasn't about), saw a largish animal (maybe an iguana) scuttle into a drainpipe under path as my phone screen lit up the path. Also woke up about 4-5am *not* busting for a piss but with a moderate attack of that pseudo-homesick depression, I went out for a piss just to "break the spell" (which worked - already walking down path to toilet/shower block felt fine).

Woke up properly 9ish and maybe got up 930ish. Bit awkward with some many of these girls hanging round but not terrible. Was going to have sandwiches for breakfast but my chicken ham has gone - someone may have nicked it, but gut feeling is some arsey staff member threw it away as it was "open" in the fridge (not a resealable pack and I should probably have tied it in a plastic bag, but I didn't have one to hand). Mildly annoying but not end of world.

Asked at desk about turtle tour and I have to pay cash, so I went out and withdrew $200 at BCR (not more as exchange rate particularly poor just now and it may blip up tomorrow or something) and had a briefish wander round town and looked on OSM re buses and tried to find a bus stop it mentioned but couldn't see anything obvious. Gut feeling is I may go to Santa Cruz next, not checked accom or guide book but at least it's new and from there I could go on to Nicoya or maybe one of the coastal towns to the south and do Nicoya later. Trouble is there's nowhere to ask about "public" buses, all the tourist places are selling shuttle services so presumably won't be helpful.

Got some hot dog sausages and buns and 1.8l milk at supermarket and came back to hostel. Sitting in kitchen area and it's too damn hot but it is in the shade and there's a moderate breeze and presumably I will gradually acclimatise.

Asked about tour and woman (French one having that conversation last night, so I spoke to her in English) who doesn't really seem very confident about this tour - maybe no one else is ever interested? - is notionally sorting it out but I haven't heard anything yet. May chase it up in half an hour or so.

Had four slices dry toast with leftover bread from yesterday and a couple of cups of free coffee with some of the milk (though I mainly bought it to drink).

Feel broadly OK, a tiny bit out of place, a tiny bit bored in a not entirely enjoyable way (be good to get this tour booked, then I can maybe relax - may do some washing this afternoon too), a bit too hot. It's fine really.

(Just FTR - I keep saying girls because a) I don't buy into the notion (no idea if currently fashionable or not) this is pejorative b) they're probably 20+ years younger than I am, and I feel there's something relative about this. Incidentally as a random data point on the "sexist language" theme, I note this group of girls constantly addresses each other as "guys" , which to me is natural but ISTR seeing some wanky objections to online. But then, I shouldn't think there's anything you can't find wanky objections to online.)

Hmm, absolute lowest price on booking.com for 2 nights in Santa Cruz is USD69 including tax! Hostelworld doesn't even seem to recognise Santa Cruz CR as a place. So maybe I won't go there, or I will do a 2 bus hop into there and on to somewhere else.

Right, booking has a property at USD46 for two nights (private room - no dorms offered) in Nicoya, and rome2rio (via general web search) suggests Santa Cruz-Nosara would involve a change in Nicoya and I think I want to visit the place anyway so it's looking like the plan is a short-ish 2 bus hop from here to Nicoya via Santa Cruz then stay probably for an initial three nights in Nicoya.

It would be nice to have a private room and unless other sites turn up dorms it looks like I will, though given the ability to do my own laundry here and thus leave with a decent complement of clean clothes I think I could handle a third dorm in a row if it was an option and would save money.

Hmm, hostelworld doesn't even recognise Nicoya!

1240 OK, I paid USD5 deposit (I wasn't *nasty* as I have to pay USD40 but 5 now and 35 later and I was offered change in colones, I said "but then I'll get ripped off on the exchange rate" and went away and "found" a USD5 note I knew I had - fingers crossed the operator tonight will have USD5 bills to give me change for the 40 I'll hand over) for the tour and I'm being picked up here at 1735. Plan incidentally is not to have any alcohol today then tomorrow I will probably do beach in evening and maybe bring (since there are cans in the fridge, and owner made no fuss about that wine last night, and no rules posted) a can back and keep in fridge for tomorrow night.

I'm changing my mind re onward travel. The location of that one place is Nicoya is inconvenient, guide book says hardly anyone stays there. I am far from convinced Nosara and Samara are going to be much different from Tamarindo but current thinking is I'll chance a 3-bus day Tamarindo-Santa Cruz-Nicoya-Samara and book myself a hostel (probably a dorm, not super cheap) near beach in Samara and then from there I can look into travel options if any down to maybe quieter southern bits of Nicoya peninsula and if not maybe head across (eg via ferry) to "mainland" and set out down the west coast southbound. I asked French woman on desk about bus to Nicoya and she told me about rome2rio.com when I said I didn't want a shuttle...

1254 Right, booked a dorm for 3 nights for a bit under USD48 inc tax in Samara, free cancellation until 6pm on day of check in. There was another hostel nearer beach (limited prospect of being able to walk to beach in swimming trunks and leaving stuff in hostel, sound of waves at night) but apart from being about USD10 more it didn't have free cancellation, and I don't think it's a big deal. I am not likely to cancel but if eg I come unstuck during my three-bus hop I can cancel this booking and stay elsewhere.

3-bus hop not ideal but they should all be short-ish. Another dorm also not ideal but I'm kind of getting used to it and since I can do laundry here tomorrow that aspect of the problem is sorted. And it does help keep the cost down, and it may help me meet people (I do wonder if there might be a different kind of people there compared to here, maybe not but who knows) and in the long run the memories of the trip are not going to be any worse for having stayed in a dorm, and may be better.

I may have a go at heating up some of these hot dog sausages in a little bit. No mustard but it will be fine ("American style" mustard would almost certainly be all I could get, and I don't like it much, it's vinegary and has little heat to it and I wouldn't be able to use the entire supply before I left), there may be some free chilli powder knocking round.

1336 Had six hot dogs in four rolls. First four hot dog sausages I microwaved and bit into before realising they were individually plastic wrapped. Live and learn.

Having more free coffee (with some of the milk I bought) even though it's hot. Because a) free b) coffee :-)

Feel a little bit of a sad git but it's kind of OK. As I've said, I really came here for the turtle tour and fingers crossed I am ticking that box tonight. Sunset+beer last night was an unexpected bonus, will do that again tomorrow night (though do wonder if beer contributed to 5am "depression" - probably not, but you never know) and really the days here are just "relaxation" time for me to feel a little awkward and over-hot.

2233 Bed.

Mon 20th 1420 In kitchen, bossa nova cover of "left my self (?) there down by the sea" which sounds like it might be on a YT playlist I sometimes listen to playing.

Turtle tour pretty good, didn't get back til 2150 (and I was dropped off first) and I just had time (not that I was starving) to heat up 4 sausages and stuff them in the last 2/4 (can't remember, prob 4) buns before they turned kitchen lights off at 10 (and I ate them in the dark with a cup of cold milk). And I sort of felt I might as well go to bed and other people were sleeping so didn't like to be typing on K1 in bed.

Woke up surprisingly early at 730-8ish today. Probably got up about 830 and quite a few people still in bed so felt a bit conspicuous with every clang of locker etc, but got out, showered, put fresh clothes on. Did some laundry (which I just collected off line now) and came to kitchen for breakfast on 2 remaining hot dog sausages and several cups of free coffee with my milk.

Went out for walk over to Langosta beach, got a bit lost but found it, quite nice, very quiet - felt like I was there on my own (I sat back on a branch in the moderate shade of a small tree) to some extent. Thoughts running on what I might do when I get back home (in a fairly positive vein) so not exactly "meditative" but still nice. I had also been thinking before going that there's no reason why the beaches at PdC should be "not too hot" for me to sit on but the Tamarindo beaches are.

Spent maybe an hour there then came back via supermarket, got 2x710ml Imperial (one original, one silver - same volume and alc content so no idea what's different - Bohemia 710ml only 1k BTW so the 2k price at hostel is a fair mark up), some more chicken ham (bologna? - actual word is "mortadela") and a loaf of bread and some toothpaste - the second 15ml tube is pretty much empty, I might squeeze (haha) one or two more brushings out of these two 15ml tubes but not much.

Original 1550 so 50 more than "usual" and than what I paid in other shop on way to beach other night, but negligible and silver 1450 for some reason so evened out.

"I sit in my old car same one I've had for years" bossa nova cover on, I rather suspect this *is* the playlist I listen to sometimes. Fingers crossed I will get to hear the surprisingly cool cover of "Last Friday night" if it is.

Plan is to sit here til 4ish, have some sandwiches in next half hour or so, write this crap, then have a shower about 430-5 (yes, it is 99% the same playlist "precious and fragile things need special handling my god what have we done to you" now), then maybe wash top I'm wearing and the trousers and maybe uw for good measure (tho it's tops I am pushed on due to only having 3 plastic) before putting clean stuff on to go out for sunset, then I'll wear that clean stuff all day tomorrow as I won't really sweat into it tonight. This should max out clean clothes inc plastic tops for upcoming dorm stay, and I can maybe do the "quick wash of plastic top in sink with no soap" trick I was doing in Liberia. Got the beers here as I said so will take one to beach and drink my own (no rules posted, so sod it) here later.

I will try to pseudo-pack around 4-5 before heading out for sunset and maybe dump everything in locker inside a big plastic bag so all I have to do at (hopefully) 7-8am ish when everyone else is asleep is grab that and my bag and take them outside and sort them for a proper-ish pack there.

Oh, I asked some people at where I thought Santa Cruz bus goes where they were going/if they knew anything and apparently a SC bus had been through "about an hour earlier" which would be 1030 ish, and on walk to L beach I also saw a Cabos Velas (?) bus or two which ply between Tamarindo and SC so while there may be a T-Nicoya bus I haven't been able to track down, I'm reasonably confident I can find T-SC bus without too much fuss.

K1 was on charge during morning sit in kitchen so didn't write this then. Was mulling over how I could (if I wanted) "blend in" wrt clothes. I think wearing a pair of long swimming trunks as shorts would be the main trick, although open-toed shoes and no socks would help, as would a short-sleeved T-shirt (or no T-shirt, but that isn't me - sunburn/excess sunblock use an issue even ignoring self-consciousness about body), but observing other tourists (not the youngish crowd here) on street I suspect my current shoes with the socks "down" so they barely come above the shoes and a long-sleeved T-shirt would probably cut it (tho this is rare, I don't think the long sleeves are *that* big a deal - short-sleeved T-shirt v common, not all men shirtless by any means)

TBF, at this point it feels like it's "just" the long trousers that differentiate me so much (albeit that's going from the borderline point just described) and I wonder if therefore I really do stand out clothes wise that much. Probably do a bit.

I think really the problem (putting it too strongly; it's not a big deal) is that the other guests here are mostly 20 years younger than I am, there's a biggish "clique" (not meaning to be pejorative) of young women and most people aren't really socialising that much outside people they know, I am a bit old, etc. I might blend in more with a clothing tweak but I don't think people aren't talking to me because I look "weirdly dressed" .

It does occur to me that the big problem in general (not here specifically) with socialising *is* actually literally meeting people, making that first initial contact beyond a grunted "hi" . Given that I would naturally say things like "how did you get on with your X activity today?" when I saw people I'd already spoken to. Not saying no worries about remembering names and faces of people I've only spoken to for a minute or two, but still, that initial contact seems to be the main hurdle.

1447 Looking up Cabos Velos on web, according to yoviajocr.com it looks like there are buses (among others) at 645, 910 and 1030, which also happens to agree with what that woman told me at the bus stop. I think I will aim for the 910 then, so not quite such an early start (though still ideally be up 8ish to pack and have some free coffee to maybe get bowels moving before I leave hostel and lose convenient access to toilet :-).

I was either wrong about the playlist or it's been stopped and v different (but OKish) music on now.

1455 Suddenly (very casually) earwigging a conversation about surf lessons, I find myself thinking (not for first time, I mentioned it other day and probably other times too) this does sound fun. *But* I'm not I think throwing artificial obstacles in my own way here - I almost certainly need and it definitely feels smart even if it's not an absolute requirement to learn to swim half-decently first. I *do* need to overcome the faff factor and get on with having lessons when I get back home, but beyond that this isn't an option right now, for better or worse. I also probably wouldn't learn here in Tamarindo - it's too busy and expensive to stay here, but the guide book mentions several other places which are good for learning and at least potentially CR would be a good place to have a go once I've got the swimming prerequisite ticked off. I don't think age is a big problem here, it's not as if I expect to become a top-tier surfer or anything, it would just be fun to try and maybe aspire to a basic level of competence so it became something I could do on future visits to not-insanely-hard locations with good conditions for surfing. Obviously I don't know but barring serious health issues I can't see why that shouldn't be achievable for someone even ten or twenty years older than me.

I did dip my hand in water at L beach just to see, pleasantly warm-cool if that makes any sense. Not saying I won't take a dip at some point in next week or two if it's convenient.

Let me waffle about turtle tour now. Picked up no problem in minibus, driver turned out to be our guide and I paid him 35, getting 5 change. We picked up two more people - an Australian couple (we all exchanged the odd word during the tour, it wasn't "unfriendly", but they didn't seem disposed to chat and I wasn't super inclined either) and that was it for our group.

Drive maybe 30 mins to some beach, then we walked down a rocky-ish path to beach. Guide showed us some dug out areas of sand where turtles had made nests before. He gave us a bit of a spiel - turtles come from 3000km away (Galapagos, I think), they only swim in coastal waters as they have heavy shells (we are talking Pacific green sea turtles here, not leatherbacks - *tiny* bit of a shame I didn't see a leatherback, but maybe time/place is wrong and I never asked and no one promised etc - the turtles we saw look black, apparently they are black even in white light although the guides use red torches to minimise disturbance, despite being called green) (can you get to Galapagos from coast of Ecuador without crossing deep water??).

We sat down to wait and I admired the stars, wishing I knew more about the constellations, but despite a bit of light pollution it was better than T beach other night and I obviously had time for my eyes to get dark adapted.

Some other groups with their guides around and we kind of merged with them at times.

Some baby turtles hatched out while we were there and we watched first a couple go down to the beach (semi "helping" them with red torches), then later a new batch hatched and dozens (?) were all going much faster (the first couple were prob deeply buried so more tired by time they go to surface??). They're about (guess? told?) 7cm long and are very cute of course.

Oh, moon (near new anyway) set before we got there. I did ask guide and he said the turtles like it dark so it's best to go when no moon, but I didn't get an answer as to whether phase of moon matters (except obviously moon rise/set isn't such an issue wrt light/dark at new moon because the moon gives no light anyway).

The guides all have some sort of radio chat going to share tips. We waited around on that beach for a while but no turtles came so we drove over to another beach nearby (which had less light pollution so more stars, I think) and there were some heavy tracks (outside spacing about three of *my* feet-in-shoes) made by a turtle having gone up the beach and although guides try not to put light on them at this point as it's better to let them decide if they're nesting or not (apparently sand on that beach quite dry and turtles tend not to nest there, and we *didn't* see any eggs laid), after it became kind of apparent it wasn't nesting we got quite close to it and watched it decide not to nest and then drag itself back down into sea, then I *think* another one came up and we watched that go up the beach and not-nest as well. They're big, a guide said the first one would probably weigh 180lbs if I heard right, I find that slightly hard to believe but FWIW. Not leatherback enormous but big. Very cool to see and although obviously a shame we didn't get to see egg laying I don't think I can complain, we certainly didn't rush off etc.

Was sort of but not quite busting for piss but managed to resist temptation to ask if I could pop down beach for a leak. Didn't tip guide at end though would have been willing to, it didn't feel quite necessary/appropriate - FWIW he did offer us a water or beer (!) as we got into the van to come back and I declined (always tempting to have a "free" beer, but was having a day off and main reason being I was already a tiny bit keen for a piss, though not in agony) so I'll tell myself he gets to keep the price of a beer as a pseudo-tip since he doesn't have to replace the one I'd have drunk.

Worth noting a lot of the time at end we were (fairly big combined group at this point - but given there was no laying I don't personally feel we were "bothering" the turtle even if it knew we were there, and in a small way our presence is helpful as obviously no sane predator is going to turn up with 15+ humans all standing round watching the turtle) standing around in the near-dark which is why I'm a bit vague if this second trying-to-nest turtle came up out of the sea while we watched - I was trying peripheral vision trick and stuff but I think I was looking at a rock in the surf for a while thinking it was a turtle coming out.

There is a light-emitting plankton in the water which gives a cool effect of little tiny green "embers" in the waves as they break on the shore. At first I wasn't sure if I was just seeing starlight/light pollution reflecting on the foam but after a bit (maybe as eyes dark adapted - it was easier to see on second beach, which also had less light pollution) the "sudden green speck appearing" effect was distinctly noticeable.

Incidentally I did snap a few photos but it's obviously very low light and I wasn't using a tripod or special camera gear and while they may or may not show something, I didn't let taking photos turn into a chore and concentrated on just watching - if any photos come out that's just a bonus.

Incidentally it was/is warm/hot today, though sort of nice while sitting on beach. Not absolutely intolerable (because I am so hardy ;-) ) but yes, warm/hot. But I am telling myself I am adapting to it gradually.

FWIW while observing clothes earlier I do see the locals - though they're relatively thin on the ground - do seem to be wearing long trousers (the women wearing tight-ish jeans) and short-sleeved T-shirts. So although I obviously in broad daylight do look like an oddly dressed tourist, my vague "try to look like a local to a blind man on a galloping horse" strategy still strictly speaking applies even here.

1956 Back at kitchen after sunset at beach. It's amazingly busy, but even though there is a modicum of chat between other people most people aren't really talking and it feels vaguely companionably quiet.

Felt bit edgy before going down to beach, felt a bit lonely with other people chatting and also paradoxically genuinely a bit worried someone would ask me where I was going and invite me to join them and I didn't *want* to. Also on a tech support phone call with parents and though I tried not to be irritable it wasn't exactly great timing.

Anyway, took my beer down to the beach - dunno if just bad luck or the food fridge is not ultra-cold, but it wasn't all *that* cold. Anyway, got to beach, tide a bit further in than two days ago so couldn't sit on rocks. Feeling a bit of a sad git after general perception before leaving hostel but kind of gradually got over it. Paradoxically a (presumably local) guy spoke to me in Spanish as we sat on a rock and I didn't understand him but made a genericish response and felt awkward, despite having felt lonely earlier. He subsequently made some other comments as we moved off to avoid some splashing water and I understood him and commented back and while I was a bit edgy (as if I had much to be mugged of - I washed security belt earlier so wasn't even wearing that) it also felt vaguely companionable in a way.

Definitely different mood on beach tonight, perhaps just in my head but still. I was positioned so that I could hear competing music from at least two beach bars (one had a guy doing "Benny and the Jets" on guitar, which made me smile and helped lift my mood) until one stopped, also some vaguely mariarchi music at one point, and later on I also noticed a couple (?) of fire performers twirling fire around outside one of the bars and sort of watched that a bit (hey, it's free :-) tbf this is the sort of thing which for me *is* impressive but also gets dull to watch quite fast.

A group conversation has kicked off which makes me feel a bit lonely again, although I'm not the only one not speaking.

Was reminded earlier (sad though it might be) of meme showing "being alone" as great and "feeling alone" as terrible. Feels kind of apposite here - when I am alone that's great (eg beach two nights ago, even tonight really), when I *feel* alone in the middle of a crowd (a smidge just now, more so earlier tonight before heading out to beach for sunset) that feels shit. That's not quite rightly expressed - obviously there was a "crowd" at the beach and that was fine. I think it's kind of down to whether it feels like it's *supposed* to be a crowd or if I'm "supposed" to feel like part of the group and I don't.

2015 I dunno, maybe there's an element of jealousy that it seems like it's OK for these people to just say to someone they don't know "so where are you from?" or whatever, whereas it doesn't feel like it's OK for me to do that.

Meh. Not saying I don't have "issues" (too strong a word) here, but this place is just not for me. I came for the turtles whereas I think everyone else is here for the beachy expensive resort ("OMG that Italian place was just fantastic"), everyone (which has not universally been the case elsewhere - obviously there is certainly a natural bias) seems relatively young, I'm blatantly dressed differently and doing different things and not hanging round the pool etc etc. It's just a perfect storm of awkward incompatibilities. It's just a mix of bad luck and different goals and there's no reason (indeed, while not *amazing* I haven't been doing too badly of late, and have felt like I'm "learning" ) to take this one hostel experience excessively to heart.

Laundry wasn't dry earlier so I've left it on line. Tiny bit edgy I'll forget it but the fact the security belt is on the line and wearing it is almost second nature should help ensure I don't. Have put a note on tomorrow morning's alarm but it's not guaranteed I'll read the text when drowsy, but it's an extra level of defence. And it may be dry in an hour or so and I'll get it down and stick it in bag then if so.

Will save beer until (I hope) it quietens down a bit here.

Do these people not have bars and massage parlours to get to, FFS? It was really quiet and chilled here the night before last.

2029 This is a bit bitter, but all these people I'm (somewhat unwillingly) earwigging seem kind of smugly self-confident. They're all doing/have done volunteering and have lived abroad and all sorts of shit like that, which simply would not have been within the realms of possibility when I was 20 or 24 or whatever.

Meh, again. It's fine, except it's a bit annoying *right now* when I'm, you know, here and just want to chill with my beer. It's not as if I haven't managed to compensate by digging myself into a moderately comfortable position right now, it's not a competition either etc. But still, I could do without having to listen to this shit.

And of course there's a self-selecting aspect here. *These* specific people might well be (even if I shouldn't necessarily hold it against them) smugly self-confident, but there's likely an enormous cohort of other 20-24ish year olds who *aren't* smugly self-confident (and, if you want to get semi-political, playing in the right "political elite" training grounds and doing volunteering and certain kinds of university course etc) and thus *aren't* sitting here in a hostel in a beach resort 5000 miles from home (most of this group are either Scottish - extremely English-sounding Edinburgers (?) - or Scandinavian).

I don't hold out *huge* hope for Samara (although fingers crossed I'll *get* there fine) as there's still a beach resort aspect but I think it's a little lower key, the hostel is cheaper IIRC which somehow feels like a good sign, there's no pool at the hostel and there's also the simple lottery wrt who is there and their ages and how much they know each other and getting a fresh lottery draw compared to the sadly distressing results I got here is something.

Please guys though, just finish eating or whatever you're doing and go to a club or something.

There's supposed to be a "glamping" option at this hostel (and IIRC one of the reviews said the tents were hot during the day) but I'm really not sure where these tents might be.

2038 Genuinely smiling. Just overheard "I did an EU funded project... and I got the one in Italy" (Erasmus?) "Political elite trainee" suspicions confirmed, IMO.

Can I get a (bingo) line by one of the Scottish guys bringing up Brexit shortly? (FTR I didn't vote for it, but I'm only too well acquainted with a certain style of argument.)

Do - genuine question, to my own brain - I actually have to listen to this shit? In theory could I just sit here and not have this conversation impinge on my consciousness? I mean, if I wasn't "bothered" I might be able to treat the conversation just as fluff/meaningless prattle, but would I actually be able to not *listen*?

You know, I *could* go sit elsewhere (eg near pool - there's no sun, so I could sit on a sin lounger or something) and maybe be out of earshot. Genius-level IQ right here. Fuck it, let's have a go.

No, smug Scandinavian (Swedish, I think) girl doing most of the talking is still audible from the far end of the courtyard. If I put headphones on that would work, but they're buried in my bag due to pseudo-packing and trying to optimise noise of departure tomorrow morning so not digging them out.

I dunno, I am probably coming across as well bitter here and maybe I am, but it just feels like, let's say, if I felt a bit smugger and cockier about some of the things I've managed to set up for myself (and I might argue I "worked" for them, since I didn't have them at 20, but whatever), and started gabbing off about how I have this and can do that and don't have to do the other, I think I'd be judged (perhaps rightly) as an arrogant cock. But somehow these people (and especially this Scandinavian girl) gabbing off about all their advantages and the cool stuff they've done is absolutely OK?

She is at least softened (albeit not almost into melody) by the distance from over here. Tempted to try a hammock but I have shoes on and it might be rude, and that would do nothing to alleviate the involuntary conversation overhearing.

I mean, it's fine. I'll go get my beer and have it over here in half an hour or so if they're still in the kitchen. But surely to fuck they're going out?

FWIW round sunset saw some guys "surfing" against the tide. Is there such a thing as a motorised surfboard? I'm genuinely unsure. I didn't see any signs of a boat towing them, but of course I could have missed it.

You know, I am at least genuinely glad I'm not in (even on the fringes) this conversation. I suspect I'd be wearing a plastered-on smile or (unlikely; I doubt I have the smug glib status quo justifying chops to "win" in such a crowd, *and* I've only had one beer) I'd be making disagreeable remarks in an attempt to disrupt the smugness of it all.

As I say, I'm probably to blame for some of how I've felt in this hostel, and there's also probably an element of bad luck. I came to see the turtles and I did (shame no egg laying, shame no leatherbacks, but I am 90% satisfied), the sunset the first night was an unexpected and pretty cool bonus and although different the sunset experience tonight wasn't bad either. Move on physically and mentally tomrorow and give the socialisation bag another shake and draw some new counters etc etc.

Must say - make of it what you will - the innovation of toasting the bread for the chicken ham sandwiches made a surprising difference. Not that they weren't nice un-toasted, but you know, variety.

Ooh, ooh, are they going? I think they have. I'll give it 5-10 mins in case they've just popped into a dorm to get some weed or something before reconvening in the kitchen, but fingers crossed. Peace, quiet and a meditative beer beckon.

Just to continue waffling, while I didn't handle it brilliantly (I just got kind of lucky with Kurt), at least back in the La Fortuna hostel I felt the *main* difference between me and the bulk of the other guests was age. I wasn't *massively* differently dressed, they were mostly doing activities I wanted to do and often did or had done etc, they didn't feel like almost an alien species (massive exaggeration just to finish the sentence).

I've got a feeling they are entering a dorm near me. Fingers crossed they are gonna fuck off somewhere though.

I would quite like in general (not just now) to sit and put some headphones on and listen to music but I've kind of felt (for all that I'm intermittently fiddling with my phone) that I don't want to "block myself off" and appear unavailable for conversation by doing that while I'm sitting in a communal area.

There are FWIW 3-4 people sitting (eg in hammocks) on their own round the pool playing with their phones. Not an uncommon sight here.

2108 Fuck it, I'm not confident they've gone but I'm gonna go have my beer in the kitchen - rather there than here as it's vaguely nice to have the hostel music playing.

2113 Beer isn't super cold even straight from fridge. Not sure what's different about Imperial Silver. Still, even if I'm not super enjoying it, it's welcome, and I hope as the alcohol takes effect it will have a mellowing effect.

Just as a random observation, if I were willing and able to go splurge money around in the resort-ish facilities, I'm not too old for *Tamarindo* even if I'm maybe too old for this hostel's current crowd. There's no shortage of older US-ish-looking couples around. I *might* fall into an awkward middle ground where I'm too young for those people and too old for the 20somethings, but I don't know. However, I honestly think even if I were a billionaire I wouldn't really feel "right" spending money in places like that, even if the actual amounts were trivial to me. Sort of hard to describe, but the value proposition feels kind of shit and vaguely insulting ("yeah, the beer is USD5/10 for a tiny bottle and there's a service charge on top, because you're on holiday and you'll pay anything, won't you? and you don't want to look "cheap" in front of your friends, do you?") and it makes me not want to play.

(Hell, it's not like I *couldn't* afford to pay these prices now and go out and "have a good time" if I wanted. But apart from the value prop stuff just discussed, my financial situation is such that pissing money away on such things would compromise my ability to do more travel in the future - I could probably piss away a few days' worth of "fun, cheap" holiday money in a single night without really trying.)

There is actually some "I don't like Tamarindo" conversation going on right now between some unoffensive people. Not entirely sure why they don't like it but FWIW.

Just to be clear (as if it matters) my annoyance with that group earlier started as general "why can they start conversations with strangers when I can't?" envy but mutated into a more specific hatred for those people based on the content of the conversation. I don't generally find the latter happening when I'm overhearing conversations and wishing I could start one myself. Maybe they really were annoying, or maybe there's been a corrosive effect on my mental state of being here for three days.

2127 Hostel woman who checked me in is washing up/cleaning round and making me feel vaguely edgy for no good reason at all.

I have a few presumably mosquito bites on my back and have had for a day or two at least. Fingers crossed malaria isn't a big issue here. They aren't (touch wood) proving tremendously itchy bites so far. I sometimes put spray on head and even back of hands if I remember when I go out (esp at night) but not sure if it's necessary, but my back is uncovered (except for sheet) and unsprayed at night - barring high malaria alert levels I cannot be covering my whole body in spray every night before bed. (And I guess if it was a high alert level we'd be using mosquito nets at night.)

Sure as hell a lot of overlap between music here and the YT bossa nova covers playlist. "On the beach" now. Not complaining.

Almost all the kitchen seating here is made for giants and I struggle to get my legs comfortable.

Ha, just seen the YT (?) video still frame for the playlist as woman got up to tweak it. It isn't the same still as the one I've listened to, but I suspect the two have a lot of tracks in common.

As expected no one has made a fuss about me drinking my own beer. Also I mentally offset the loss of profit to them against them chucking out the leftover part of my first pack of mortadela. :-)

Not really tired (a tiny bit though, now I think about it) but probably move towards bed at 10. Be good to be up a bit before 8 if I can, since I have two sandwiches worth left and also some milk and it would be good to consume that in not too much haste. Hope laundry is dry enough to pack when I go to bed, it was borderline when I checked before opening beer. Rather not leave it out overnight.

2213 Bed. Lights on and a few people around just a few mins ago, but meh. Laundry still borderline but brought it in anyway.

2221 Couple of guys just talking about joining a group going to play cards for a bit then head out. I really am out of it here, for multiple reasons, as discussed endlessly.

We saw some (hermit, I think) crabs on beach at end of last night's turtle tour BTW.

Be good to make a fresh start in Samará (if I have the accent right there, need to be careful how I pronounce it).