0453 Ordered second round of katchapuri and coffee. Precached map on free wifi, but still going to get taxi. Checked in on foursquare just because I can. :-)
Battery at 22% but fairly sure I have spares as I say. Maybe I should swap before this gets much lower so I know to save those last dregs if the others aren't good.
0500 Yep, this battery is at 100%. No sign of katchapuri yet but if it doesn't turn up I will order one with the next coffee. I don't think I'm leaving here til at least 630. If I keep consuming coffee at this rate I will be bouncing off the walls by then. (They haven't given me a bill or anything for this coffee yet.)
It doesn't take much to make me happy, does it? "What are the greatest pleasures in life? Free wifi, a coffee and a battery meter at 100%."
0511 Nearly finished this coffee. Been given a bill for coffee only. Free wifi not working now, but no worries.
0517 Ordered another coffee and this time I think I am getting katchapuri too.
0528 No sign of coffee or katchapuri. Ah, here is coffee and I said 'gmadlob'. Go me!
Feeling a bit jittery, probably the caffeine. Will try to take this coffee a bit slower.
Flight destinations on monitor all a bit exotic. Baku, Istanbul, Baghdad, Kiev, Vnikovo (sp!?), Moscow, Vienna. That takes us up to 1625, clearly there are not huge numbers of flights. Next flight is the 1010 to Baku. Ah, those are arrivals not departures. Hope I can get a taxi at this time between flights!
0611 Got wifi on again, starred hostel and Freedom Square (landmark, walking distance to hostel) on Google Maps app which I hope will be available offline. Starting to wonder if I should chance the bus. Anyway, not leaving here yet.
Yes, just turned wifi off and the stars still show up on the map. Finished this coffee (virtually cold by now). Think will have one more and by the time I finish that should be getting light.
Looking at guide book again, there is actually a train into town but there are about four trains a day unless there are more now (guide book says additional services may be added in future, and I think it's a year or two old). I also see no obvious signs of a train station here. Seriously tempted to try the bus, it is number 37 and runs half hourly.
Ordered another coffee, will ask for bill when it comes so I can leave when I like.
Aha, the 37 bus goes to tavisuplebis moedani, otherwise freedom square. (Guide book is surprisingly coy about this link, using the term Freedom Square most of the time but using tavisuplebis moedani when referring to the bus. I used Google to confirm the link.) Sounds like a plan. I can say tavisuplebis moedani to the driver and proffer coins. Guide book says it is 0.5 GEL but will assume it is more.
Bill is 25, have put 30 in the wallet thingy but hope to get change and make it 27.50 if possible. That's 10%, it's not so cheap I feel splurging on a 20%, two quid tip is necessary. I suspect they may take their time collecting it and I'll end up paying 30 but if so, so be it.
Need to remind myself there is really no rush. If I don't end up getting on the bus til 8 it makes little difference. Obviously I don't want to hang around for the hell of it, but equally there is no need to get worked up rushing about.
Downloaded offline Georgian-English dictionary, may be useful. Sky noticeably lightening. Struggling to remember 'tavisuplebis moedani'. ;-) Feel a bit tired, slight 'deadness' behind the eyes, but not too bad. I suppose it's only 4am London time.
0651 Just handed wallet thing to waitress, this way I may get change and at least I am sure they're happy I've paid before I leave. Will go have a slash before I leave the airport anyway.
0654 Don't think I'm getting change and I may be imagining it but there seems to be a certain movement out of the cafe which I am interpreting as bus time.Will probably miss it due to going to bog if so but anyway. Will write off change as tourist tax and go.
0700 Outside terminal. You can't get back in without going through security. Couldn't find bus stop, asked a couple of baggage handler type people. I do now see there is the word 'bus' painted on the road with a taxi (later update: actually a police car) parked on top of the B. Not super obvious even in hindsight. They said it would be 10-15 mins. Just hope no taxi drivers try to grab me. Cool out but not unpleasant, sort of refreshing. Gonna put phone away in case it makes me look victimisable. Not many people around out here, though enough not to be intimidating.
0850 At 24h bar with unclear name (Stelzen Haus???) just off Khote Afkhazi street. (Google Maps app apparently does not support starring a location offline or something). Bit of emotional turbulence. Thinking back to Seville in 2008 I suspect in large part it may be low blood sugar or something. Anyway, I have a half litre of Weihenstephan unfiltered in front of me and a plain hamburger and fries on the way. I think I am the only customer. Waitress seems very helpful and speaks excellent English. Will write things up once I've eaten.
0915 Have eaten. Don't think this place is cheap but that so wasn't the issue here. Am feeling a little better but not as much as I'd hoped. Anyway, let me try to get my thoughts into some kind of order, and in the absence of anything better let's try chronological.
Bus turned up with 37 on the front right where those guys said it would. I stood next to it for a while because it wasn't ready to go, then the driver came back and I got on. Said twhatsit moedani? to conductor woman who said yes or something. I proferred coins. She told me it was 50 (meaning 0.50). I said I didn't want change but she told me to sit down. A bit later after some more people got on she somehow acquired change for my 1 GEL coin and gave me some coins and shoved some in the ticket machine and gave me the ticket. Bus got moderately full as we went along. Views interesting, some nearer centre quite impressive, other bits somewhat run down. Felt quite chuffed with myself. GPS functioned like a champ and I got off successfully in Freedom Square.
Let me say at this point that somehow when I dismantled the phone to replace the broken screen last weekend, I managed to break the magnetic compass feature. God knows how I could break that alone but I did. So the only way to get a direction indicator on the map is to be moving so it can be inferred from GPS. This is also a little ropy anyway, presumably due to my low velocity relative to the GPS error. This essentially encourages staring at the phone while walking instead of looking where I'm going.
Walking towards the hostel the streets were quite empty and the buildings a little dilapidated and I started to feel slightly vulnerable. I also started to get an almost ridiculously strong feeling of the usual insecurity and awkwardness hostels bring out in me.
At about this point I narrowly (I may exaggerate, but it did shake me, given my frail emotional state at the time) avoided stepping off the sheer (i.e. non-stair) side of a hole in the pavement with steps down to a basement entrance. Not fenced off, and whether I had a near miss or not, I think had I stepped over the edge without looking I could have been looking at hospital with a broken something. Probably 1.5-2 metre drop, with the stairs at the far side to impact my face. This just added to my emotional turbulence since I was feeling shaken, walking along the streets and less able to concentrate on not having an accident while simultaneously worrying about having one due to not concentrating.
Anyway I got to the hostel and rang the bell, got buzzed in. Stairwell black as your hat, got to the top and not quite sure where to go. Washing hanging out on balcony. Went into a room where a young woman (as always in hostels it's hard to tell who's staff and who's guest) appeared to be sleeping under a duvet. I wondered if this was a private room or something. Anyway, she was clearly on reception. This was about 8:15. No sign of anyone else, presumably SYTs all asleep.
She was perfectly pleasant, said the room wasn't ready and invited me to have a seat while I waited for it to become free. I asked when that would be, she said midday. I said could I leave my bag while I went out to get some food. (Like I would just sit there for four hours...) No problem. I asked if I could lock it anywhere and she said that was reception and it would be safe. I then said I'd just do the locks on my zips ebfore I left it. Worried I looked like a paranoid prissy fucker , because it's probably not cool to worry about people rifling through your bag. (Had I been a bit more savvy I'd have done up the combination locks before I went in.) Anyway, left the bag there. It's probably safe and I have my passport in my pocket so if itdoes get nicked it's not the end of theworld.
Came out and wandered, still feeling rather homeless and disturbed and sad. I wanted somewhere to sit and try to get myself into some kind of semblance of normality, of coruse being so early most places not open. Stumbled across this place by sheer chance, though I did head towards Freedom Square because I thought it would be the best bet and then wandered down some side street and found this place.
Some probably stray cats and dogs about. While I was eating they kept clustering round the table and the cats were meowing and one jumped up onto a chair. Waitress kept shooing them away. I studiously ignored them.
I was hoping I would feel a little more together by now (it's 0932) having eaten but I still don't feel great. Not looking forward to going back to the hostel, irrational as that may be. I am fucking glad I sprung for a private room (shared bathroom though). Anyway, I think the plan is to check in, then come out and see if I can occupy myself for the afternoon and/or evening, doubtless eat somewhere (here if all else fails) and then I will go back and go to bed about 10 or so. (Will try not to make it any earlier than that.) I think I will set an alarm for midday as a backstop but basically just see how long I sleep for. If I wake up at 6 and can't get back to sleep then I'll get up.
No reason to be intimidated by the hostel as long as I just treat it as somewhere to sleep. If I really can't stick it for some irrational reason then fuck it, I will employ the banker's solution and go to a hotel.
Fuck, so I'm looking at 12.5h before I allow myself to go to bed. Meh, see how it goes. Main thing is not to go to bed at midday and wake up at 2200 or something, that way all kinds of madness lies. If I'm struggling to keep my eyes open at 5pm I will go to bed.
It's odd, I was feeling tired but quite satisfied in the cafe at the airport. Probably a combination of tiredness, not eating properly and then reacting badly to the usual hostel stimulus as a result of the first two.
Waitress keeps kind of implying it might be too cold to be sat outside. It is a teeny bit on the cool side, but quite pleasant really, much better than London right now. I don't think it's a massive deal but somehow I feel better for being outside.
0945 Different waitress just asked me if I wanted anything. Still have 1/3 of beer left but ordered a black (i.e. not green) tea. I don't want to get pissed so I have to be careful with the beer and I'm not sure more coffee is going to help so maybe this will. I do feel pretty shit really, maybe this will change all of a sudden - it does happen - but I have a nasty feeling this is going to persist until I wake up tomorrow morning. At least I am fairly sure that will improve matters, so it's just a matter of waiting it out. I seem to remember feeling like this one day in Buenos Aires in the mini trip in 2012, it's not without precedent and it will pass.
0954 Church bell tolling slowly nearby and for some reason I am reminded of the "flores para los muertos" bit in Quick Change - something Rab drew my attention to ages ago, not something that struck me enormously when I saw the film myself. This is amusing rather than depressing. I hope I can rise on the stepping stones of my dead selves to higher things, or whatever the hell Bertie Wooster always says.
1025 If it helps locate this place again, it is next door to "Caucasian Carpets". They appear to be cleaning off their rather dusty looking stock in the street.
1048 Feel a bit sick, think it was the black lemon tea. Ordered a diet coke. Don't think I am going to make it to anything like 10pm. Frankly the idea of 'having' to eat another meal seems like such a Herculean chore it cannot be contemplated. I think I might try not to go back to hostel before 1 and then just go to bed when I get the room. If I wake up at 1am then so be it, at worst I will then be tired tomorrow but hopefully a bit less so than today and will then be able to go to bed at 10pm ish tomorrow and get onto a more normal sleep cycle. I think there's a fair chance I might manage to sleep well over 12h and wake up 4am or later, which would be kind of OK. Not worried about noise at the hostel, once I'm out I am *out*. If I can get the wifi password before I go to bed I at least have a chance of entertaining myself if I do wake up too early to go out. If I can't or it doesn't work in my room I have ebooks and the like. I suppose I might actually be ill and wake up feeling like shit but there is no reason to think this is anything but tiredness.
1106 Starting to have all sorts of amazingly black, irrational thoughts. In a way it's OK because I know it's all caused by this tiredness but it's still kind of distressing. I think I am going to go back to the hostel nearer 12 than 1. I will buy a bottle of water and something like some peanuts on the way back if I can, then I will be sorted if I wake up at 1am ravenously hungry or thirsty. If I do wake up at 1 it will be OK, as long as I feel OK. I will not be tired most of the day so I can do stuff, and I should manage to stay up til 5-10pm much more easily than now and so I'd be close to getting back on a normal cycle. I think I'm repeating myself.
Mon 0042 OK. Basically I got worked up and kept going to the bog at cafe. Then got worried I was too ill to make it back to hostel safely. I got a (small) bottle of water to take away and paid. GEL 39, made it 50 with tip. Got back to hostel OK just after midday though bit nervous. Could have taken a loperamide but worried about potential after effects. Room nice and wifi works, but only two bathrooms, ie no separate toilets, and at 12pmish in afternoon both nearly continuously occupied, so I couldn't relax as I kept thinking I might be desperate to go but not able to get in. Had quick look on expedia for alternate hotel, did find one for forty quid a night but dithered. The journey over there (finding taxi etc) would be toilet-inaccessible anyway, so to speak. I also sort of knew I wasn't ill just fucked up after being awake so long and having had lots of caffeine and stuff. Managed to get a grip on myself. Lay on bed sort of not trying to sleep while I convinced myself I shouldn't worry about the toilet situation and that I wasn't going to start puking up.
People out talking noisly in kitchen etc but not a problem. I sort of drifted off to sleep maybe (guessing) 2pmish and woke up a few times. Not bad sleep though irrationally fitful dreams about some nonexistent and unimportant Georgian language question; one of those dream logic things where something just keeps cropping up even though it makes no sense, let alone being unimportant even if it made sense. (Unusual for me to have that when sober, I think, but maybe not. The classic, although I've not had it for years, was being drunk on the train back home to Kingston unable to stop thinking "How exactly *do* cats work? What would happen if there was a bug in their software?".) Woke up properly maybe half an hour or an hour ago and dozed, much quieter in hostel. Only checked time 10-20 mins ago; I thought it would be later given lack of noise, but I popped out for a slash and to clean my teeth again and only a few peolpe about and the one dorm I saw was empty, so I guess people are out. It's fine. If I can't get back to sleep no big deal and I suspect I will be able to. Have set alarms for half nine and 11 and fingers crossed will be up not too late.
Not feeling completely tip-top but enormously better than earlier.
Oh, the door lock on the inside is mega stiff. Lovely extra surge of panic when I tried to get out this afternoon and it wouldn't turn. (Trapped in the room - borderline OK, it's huge. Trapped in the room when I'm already worried about needing the bog urgently - not so great.) Using the Howsarlock instead, it is equally good at preventing anyone getting in while trivial to remove. (However, the end of the rubber 'string' holding the two bits together just broke when I got back from the bog 20 mins ago. Not a big deal, have tied a knot in it which works equally well, but a bit crap.) Well worth the 6g or so it weighs, despite sometimes having felt it was a bit superfluous.
Not 100% sure I should publish this, but basically it boils down to:
- lack of sleep, food and a surfeit of caffeine can introduce poor mental state in me
- I don't like the idea of shitting myself
Neither of which I suspect is particularly unusual, so why be embarassed about it, even if anyone is reading this.
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