Lampang, Thursday

1130 Bit of minor pain in guts last night and this morning. Got called about 2am and 2:30am, seeing it was a Colchester number I inferred (still with lingering doubts, naturally) it wasn't anything important and turned phone off. Turned it back on just now and I have about five texts from Barclays asking me to confirm receipt. Clearly they haven't had the wit to update their emergency contact system once the contract expired. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that explains the two calls.

Still in bed but will probably get up soon. I don't think there is much else in town to see or do, so will probably just wander a bit and try to get some lunch and maybe walk over to the bus station if I can find it to buy a ticket for Chiang Mai tomorrow. There were touts yelling CM as soon as the bus pulled into Lampang so I suspect it's not a big problem to buy on the day, but all other things being equal probably best to buy a ticket in advance. If I can't find the bus terminal I'm not going to worry about it.

Actually, suddenly occurs to me - of course I haven't been looking - I haven't seen many tuktuks (or proper taxis, they're super rare everywhere outside Bangkok it seems) in the street, which might be a bit awkward when it comes to getting to the terminal with my bag tomorrow, *especially* if I already booked a seat and have to be there for a particular time.

1500 OK, finally going out. Feel been a bit of a wasted day but fuck it, not going into a diabtribe right now but I've had it with all this pressure, even if it might be coming from myself. Also given I didn't arrange any trip out of town not clear there's a lot I 'should' have been seeing today anyway. Not sure whether to even try to buy a bus ticket today, but I am also worried that with Loy Krathong there will be a massive surge in demand on the buses.

Gonna go out and eat at KFC and maybe wander over to bus terminal and see if I can spot any tuktuks on the street. Then tonight maybe just a quiet dinner at Aroy One Baht or maybe even just a quiet night in. Let's see.

1536 Lingering at KFC, the food was good and welcome. Feeling a bit lazy and also inclined to kick against the tyranny of active tourism. However, I will probably make my way over to the bus station - it's exercise if nothing else - and see how it goes. I can spend the night doing nothing, either out or at the hostel.

1628 At bus terminal. It's a fair hike, I didn't exactly know where I was but I didn't really get lost. There is a bus tomorrow at 1330, I think there might also be ones at 1000, 1020, 1230 then 1630. This is with I think Green Bus, who guide book semi-recommends. The woman spoke English and told me about the 1330 (I am reading the others off a pure Thai list of departure times on booth and assuming they are to Chaing Mai) but refused to sell me a ticket for tomorrow; I have to buy it tomorrow. I asked and she said there was no shortage, I think. Takes about 2h.

No obvious sign of any tuktuks in street on way over. Guide book says you can songthaew from the terminal to centre, so presumably the reverse is possible, but it makes no attempt whatsoever to indicate where you might pick such a vehicle up in town. Best not to overburden me with information.

So while the walk as a bit wasted it's not like I had anything else to do and now if I can't get a ticket tomorrow at least I won't wish I'd come over today. Also this way I guess I can leave the hostel about midday with my bag and slowly lug it over here and at least not worry about missing my bus if I don't get hailed by a passing driver. Actually with that big super-convenient gap in the schedule after 1330 I should probably start my expedition a bit earlier, e.g. 1130 or even 11. If checkout is 11 that will be easily done, if it's 12 will require some willpower. Have to see.

Oh, woman at ticket desk said it takes 2h to get there. I could possibly go to a different window and try to buy a ticket but I'd rather stick with Green Bus if I can, also given the uncertainties in my arrival time better not to have an advance ticket in some sense, then if I do get here early I have a chance of getting an earlier bus.

Anyway, let's head back to town. GPS still completely non-functional. I think this third Desire Z is on its way out. The compass and accelerometer mysteriously broke when I replaced the screen the second time, and maybe GPS is on a related component and has been just dying a bit slower. Perhaps this is ridiculous. Anyway, maybe I will start bidding on a fourth on ebay to have sent to parents place and pick up at Christmas. Maybe I should also investigate some of the newer keyboard phones sold only in US and see if they'd work abroad if I bought one on ebay. It's 1636.

1719 At 7-Eleven round corner from hostel buying water (had ice cream near bus terminal). I note a bottle of Leo is 55 in here, which seems a remarkably small difference from the 65-70 it often seems to cost in a bar/restaurant. (Singha is 61, and that's pricier in bars, so the markup is a little more pronounced there, but still nothing like you'd see in the UK.)

1728 Back at hostel. Nice cold shower I guess.

1844 At Aroy One Baht. Served by a guy who says he is a traveller and is just helping out (dunno if it's just me or generally) as none of them speak English here. The menu is bilingual however so I guess it is not totally ridiculous for the guide book to recommend this place. No obvious availability of beer (in fact although I was a bit hurried with menu, not even sure they do soft drinks beyond water), I am toying with having this as an alcohol free day but I am kind of inclined to go over to e.g. that place I came on first night for a couple of beers after eating here.

Having pork with black pepper. Guide book recommended snakehead fish curry or something but I'm not feeling super adventurous. Guy didn't ask me if I wanted rice, but they have brought the food already and the guy offered me some. Looks quite good actually. I don't have any cutlery yet, ah here it is.

1856 Yes, was quite good. But feel totally disinclined to stay here. Not just the lack of beer. Anyway, might stand up and see if I can pay someone.

1900 At Ruam Mitra Niyom. Getting a Leo (70, plus tip of course). Got up with 80 in notes in hand at other place, woman went to examine table (they charge 10 for taking one of the bottles of water on table), handed me 20 back (I think dish was 40 but rice is extra, probably 10) and I handed it back saying it was the tip. Possible 60 would have been fine with tip if it was 50, but fuck it. I just felt strangely unwelcome, probably completely unfair, but there you go. Maybe it was that very nice but made me feel as if I was imposing volunteer waiter, maybe him saying they didn't speak English made me feel I shouldn't be there, maybe I just imagined it (FFS, place has been heaving as I've gone home other nights) but I got this slightly functional canteeny vibe as though it wasn't somewhere to linger. I might otherwise have lingered on coke, but lingering on water, fuck off.

I feel I am teetering on the brink of a minor personal insight (about travel and/or my own attitude to it and/or my attitude to life), which is doubtless bollocks, but still. I ought to sit here and mull but I'm going to read a book on my phone instead. Today hasn't really been that bad in a dull way but I'm still feeling generally a bit fed up and helpless (the language issues, plus the small non-language bit about apparently having no alternative but to walk to the bus terminal tomorrow).

Yay, ice in my beer. I am tempted to pick it out but I won't.

I hope India will be a little closer to 'native English speaking'. I have talked to people about this and they make out it's cool, but then the same people make Thailand out to be a non-issue on language grounds too. True, I am managing and maybe the problem is that I feel vulnerable and/or stupid because I am so reliant on others, but the inability to eg read signs on bus stops and vehicles is a serious pisser.

1912 Beer topped up for me. I should just accept it but somehow it does freak me out.

1925 I observe my usual feeling of isolation from the other tourists in hostels and the like is missing, perhaps simply because I just don't seem to encounter that many other tourists, and even fewer native English speaking ones. (I am sure most of them can speak basic English - I think you'd be fucked here if you didn't speak Thai or English, maybe I'm wrong though - but they don't speak it among themselves, and may well not be up to general English conversation anyway.) AFAICR not since Sukthothai have I observed even a moderate quantity of them. I expect Chiang Mai to be far more obviously touristy, for better or worse.

2008 Bloke on stage fiddling with a guitar, recorded music not stopped yet.

2044 They just replaced my glass with one with fresh ice. Great! Must admit I am feeling pretty shitty, mentally. This is my second beer, the music is in Thai but sounds rather maudlin, whether it is or not, I'm feeling a bit hacked off. There's a solitary ant been scooting round my table ever since I get here, I feel irrationally sorry for the little fucker. I even put a small patch of beer on the table on the offchance it would be of interest, but it failed to excite.

2047 Either it or a previously unseen companion has commited suicide in my beer.

Fuck me this is getting me down, and I'm not quite sure why. Sure, tomorrow seems like a big fucking faff with having to lug bag over to bus terminal and then buy a ticket and I need to find where my hotel is roughly (no GPS to assist, of course) and get there and FFS it's not such a big deal but it all just seems like it is. There are a couple of other tables occupied here but that's all. Tuesday was busier. Maybe it gets busy later on Thursday.

2057 I am vaguely tempted to leave the maybe half (perhaps even three quarters) of a bottle, pay and fuck off. Physically I feel fine, last night/this morning's indisposition was minor and seems over now.

2103 It goes against the grain but I think I will. I'm not pissed or going to, but this is burning up my goverment-mandated alcohol allowance to no avail, it doesn't even taste nice. Waitress just come over to pour more out, I asked for bill but then got paranoid she thought I wanted another beer, so I handed her 200. Don't know if I'm going to get any change now. No, I did, was 140, leaving 20 under the sugar bowl. This really does go against the grain but at least I'm saving myself a couple of units of alcohol allowance and it can't be any more wrist-slittingly horrible back at the hostel.

2110 Back at hostel.

0020 Wifi isn't working, but it's not as if I need it to look up tomorrow's hotel on a map or anything. Feeling generally a bit better, though starting to worry prematurely about the flight to Singapore. I think it's early enough in the day getting to DMK with plenty of time to spare could be a fucker, then there's the ultra-stingy cabin baggage allowance to contend with so I have to faff with shoving items in my clothes etc and may have to pay a wodge at the airport and if they insist on cash I won't want to have that much on me just in case as it would be useless otherwise so would have to go withdraw it etc. But there's nothing I can do about it now and it's a week away, clearly this is just boredom seizing my mind.

As I packed notice my white T-shirt has huge yellow patches on. I haven't worn it that much and I washed it the other day. Bit disappointing. It was very cheap but still. I do wonder if a proper wash in a washing machine and/or a determined effort at hand washing would fix it up or not.

0059 Just reading a slightly creepy tale in bed [The Abominable History of the Man with Copper Fingers] and heart rustling. There's a fucking mouse (might be a rat, it's moderately sized, but I dunno - way bigger than tube mouse size) running around. It's black/dark grey. It just ran under the padlocked double door next to the bed.

Beyond the fact there are some apple cores and dregs of grapefruit-ish fruit in the bin, I don't see how this can be my fault, but that is just enough to make me wonder if I should mention it when I check out. Am I being overly fastidious? My inclination is that no, I'm not. It's odd, the place is generally pretty clean. I'd rather have that than a fucking spider, but still.

I didn't get a receipt except for the initial 1000 I paid (I was short of cash at the time), I hope they don't try to bilk me for the second 950 a second time. Probably be OK though.

Will definitely be sleeping with all the lights on tonight! Fortunately I'm not too bothered about mice/rats per se, but I'd still rather not wake up next to one all the same.