Quetzaltenango, Friday

Thu 2347 Because I need to go to sleep and there's no urgency, naturally I just had a quick poke on airbnb for week's time re whole apartments. Some *tolerable* options but a) it appears impossible to sort by price, not *too* bad with only three pages but not ideal b) you only get a fuzzy location until you've booked c) there doesn't seem to be anything remotely competitive with where I am now on location and price; if I wanted to splurge a bit I could probably get something more central, but gut feeling is if this apartment remains available and the private ad stuff doesn't turn up any gems (I will try calling some just for the experience), this is the best balance of price and location.

Oh, the other apartments on booking.com seem even worse value having had a quick poke - price quoted is for studio apt not 1 bed, and there's 22% tax on top. Makes this place even if there's a hidden Q50ish a week cleaning charge seem even better value.

FFS, let's sleep. But if I forgot to say, the kite (barrilete IIRC in local Spanish) festival was in (from memory) Sumpango, Sacquetepez. And a quick look at maps makes it just a short way north of Antigua, so today I mostly retraced all my travel to come here and then did it back again.

1316 At Tiguila for fish fillet. Paid for next week's classes and have arranged to meet owner at flat between 5 and 8 to hand over cash. Feel a bit off balance. Teacher and director were talking about me in 3rd person while I was doing some exercise and I found that a bit rude. (Two of the Chinese women are doing a trip on their own initiative to some church an hour away leaving 9am tomorrow; I cried off on the true grounds I didn't want to have to get up early at weekend, but also feel it would be extremely socially awkward.) As I say I feel off balance at the school, like I'm continually accidentally being rude or having awkward conversations. (I guess also with my e-mails with the owner this morning.) Meh.

Turns out the bar I saw last night on walk home is almost certainly Bari, one of the places teacher recommended the other week. Am thinking will try Trova Rock tonight and that one tomorrow; Bari is more a locals place but teacher thinks that won't be a problem, and it should have live music from 9ish both nights so I can just enjoy that anyway.

Teacher thinks most flats won't let for less than a month. I may phone one or two next week anyway, I can ask that straight off and it's good practice making phone calls in Spanish anyway.

Wish I could get rid of this off-balance feeling. Will try to go up to Parque El Baul tomorrow. Some discussion with teacher re safety even with guides on some of these volcano hikes which worries and *annoys* me; it's probably a small risk and it sort of bothers me to be made to worry about it.

Also perhaps hasn't helped we've been working on preterite vs imperfect and - unlike the subjunctive, which has a lot of rules but does seem to more-or-less follow them - this is one of those situations where I've been suppressing a desire to be really bitchy about how the rules seem completely unhelpfully vague and it's really about learning by example.

1338 Food OK though fish has a big bone down the middle (am I misunderstanding the word 'fillet'/filete?) and not 100% sure it was cooked thoroughly, though probably was - have left a bit of the flesh on the bone and hope I'll be OK.

Will be 30, will make it 40 and will get them to  break a 100 for me. Withdrew another 2k on way over from school to top up my cash reserves back at flat, as wouldn't really have enough to pay the 603 for next week's accommodation without it (short of dipping into the "emergency reserve" which I intend to keep on me until I'm about to leave the country, at which point I will start to run that down).

Plan is roughly to go back to flat, drop stuff off, then go for a longish walk and come home via supermarket - will probably be unhealthy and get some more hot dog materials and so on. Then will stick on at flat until I go out tonight.

Woman just offered me more juice and I turned it down on reflex, which was stupid as it would probably have been free. Oh well. I think in part I was expecting her to be asking me if I wanted anything else (as would happen in UK when sitting with plate empty) and I misreacted. Feh. Wish I could feel a bit more chilled. Have this nagging sensation of doing everything wrong - not just little social/language stuff, but the overall "what I am/am not doing on holiday" stuff. It sort of feels like anyone else would be doing "better" at being on holiday.

1421 Been back at flat a while. Forgot to mention while teacher and director were talking about me I thought I caught some mention of repaying me for yesterday's classes, but who knows? Director certainly cheerfully accepted full Q900 for next week when I left the school at 1.

1809 As I sort of knew would happen I'm lurking in the flat waiting for the owner to come collect the rent. I want to shower etc but can't until I know he's been and won't interrupt me.

Went for a walk up to Templo Minerva - rather run down area though not excessively threating. A somewhat imposing structure though I do wonder exactly what it was built for; it's a big roof on a lot of pillars, to be blunt, and since it's presumably not a real temple of any kind I wonder what it was created for. It appears to be all fenced off with metal railings and locked gates.

Did feel earlier that I was being a little bit pressured into that trip to that church and/or other potential trips. Not sure why they would care so much. Maybe I am imputing malice where there wasn't any.

1826 Yay, I've lost my cap. It must have fallen out of my bag when I dragged the fleece out of it in the bus on the way back home yesterday. I don't think it was super expensive but it was a present from my mum and I know she didn't get a 99p one off ebay as I would have done. Foolish, because there's no point paying for quality in an item which is going to get lost ages before it actually starts wearing out because it was a cheap piece of crap. Annoying. I'll have to see if I can buy one at the nearby market (La Democracia; have wandered round there in passing before), I guess.

1835 Shaved, taking risk of being interrupted.

1842 Very bright flash of lightning, no thunder. Weather forecast doesn't seem to suggest torrential downpours or anything so will probably go out as planned. Assuming I can ever shower.

1900 Owner just collected money (Q603). Asked when I was leaving, I said a week Sunday. I didn't mention possibility of renewing again lest it complicate things. Didn't ask about a cleaner, just clarified about dumping rubbish in front of electric meters on Monday. (Can e-mail him to ask about cleaner mid-week if I want.) Will give him a few mins in case he comes back then shower.

2026 Lurking around getting mildly worked up about walk home. Don't want to get there too early and drink too much, but will probably head out now as I also want to get there before it hopefully gets too busy so I can get a seat at the bar. Meh. See how it goes. Will send this now just in case do lose phone. Toyed with not taking it but on the whole I'd feel worse without it the whole night. Did discuss various things re having a second "going out at night" phone with teacher FWIW; won't ramble at length now.