Quetzaltenango, Monday

1328 At restaurant next to Bari. Feeling pretty shit. Classes somehow very rough today, I feel crappy about everything.

1358 Feel a bit better for having eaten. Still a bit quietly unhappy. Strange but not bad cover of "Tren al sur" playing.

2005 Went for a walk after eating leftover pizza. Been milling around flat since then. Still a bit fed up but not too bad.

I think a certain amount of my bad mood is my problem. But I am pissed off that basically almost all of the 4.5 hours of classes today was me filling in worksheets while my teacher dicked around on his phone while intermittently correcting them. I felt like I was being given this as a punishment, though I'm not quite sure what for. And then I didn't get any homework except to write some sort of story; I can't help wondering if this was because he used up all the worksheets punishing me in class.

I am not rushing into anything but I might change school - though I could end up with the same teacher, as he said most schools draw on a pool of freelance teachers. I might complain (to him); this may sour the mood, but frankly it didn't feel all that good to me today anyway. I'm not paying for a teacher so I can sit there and fill in worksheets all the time - I could fill those in at home as homework and we could correct them in half an hour or so of class time.

I wish I could remember exactly how things went sour this morning. I didn't turn up at school in a terrible mood; I wasn't necessarily at my sparkling best but I felt broadly OK. I didn't have a flaring-up argument with the teacher. Fuck knows.

Maybe I'll compromise and try to overcome the sense of off-balance anger and upsetness I was fighting with while working through those "punishment" exercises today, and say that I'm not happy *if* it happens again tomorrow.

I wasn't even clear why I was doing those exercises. It was an easier version of stuff we'd already done, I got most of it right, I am not clear why we were recapping it *in class time* anyway. As homework as reinforcement would be fair enough, I think. But I suppose he might counter that since I refuse to discuss politics we can't do anything else.

Do vaguely wonder if I should fuck off to another town and try studying there. But I sort of like it here and not sure if anywhere else would be unsafe/less safe. No need to rush into a decision right now I guess.

2205 Not really tired but I'll go to bed; I'm only reading on phone and I can do that in bed and this way it increases the chances of me getting "enough" sleep, whatever that means, and feeling better tomorrow. As I said earlier, I don't need to rush into any decisions - unless I do actually plan to leave town, I can still book accommodation for next week without having decided whether to ditch this school. I don't have to make that decision until approximately Thursday night, so I should sit back and see how things go until then.